Everyone, say hi to Pate.
Everyone: Hi, Pate!
Pate: Hi, Everyone!
Pate is novice in the order of the Maesters at the Citadel of Oldtown. He's named after "Spotted Pate," an ugly, pig-nosed boy from old folk tales.
Pate: I HATE MY NAME! And I would definitely never introduce myself by citing the Spotted Pate story. Ever. Remember that for the future.
Pate has been at the Citadel for many years now, trying to earn links on his maester's chain. Try to guess how many he has earned so far.
Zero.
Pate seems pretty worthless. And this is, after all, a Prologue chapter. So by now I think you can guess Pate's fate.
Pate: Hey! That's not true. In the last book, Chett didn't die in the prologue!
True, and while he wasn't technically revealed as dead until a good way through the book - chronologically his death likely only occured a few minutes (or at maximum, hours) after his POV chapter. So yes, if you want to be anal about it... he didn't die in his prologue chapter. He died minutes later.
Pate: HA! See? They don't always die.
Anyway, Pate is drinking in a tavern with fellow novices who are all training to be maesters - Mollander, Alleras "the Sphinx," Armen, and Roone. Don't bother remembering them. None of them will be important at all.
Alleras: Yes. Especially don't remember me. I'm not important at all. Also, do not notice that I have several traits that might be described as feminine. And especially never spell my name backwards and take note of that spelling for a future "missing" character that might be referenced. EVER.
Rosey the Tavern Maid: Hi guys! What will you have to drink?
Alleras: HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN GU-eeerr... yes. I'm a guy. Indeed. *shifty eyes* I'll have beer.
Everyone else orders beer too. Except for Pate. Pate is too busy drooling and blushing. He's totally in love with Rosey the 15-year old tavern maid. He dreams of running away with her and getting married.
Mollander: Haha, stop being a fucking loser, Pate. You'll never get her
Armen: Yes, to have her... you'll have to win her over with true love.
Roone: Indeed, true love... OR you could simply pay her mother, one of the old tavern wenches that runs this place, a single gold dragon. Because her mother totally has totally been going around and telling everyone that her 15-year old daughter's virginity is for sale for a single gold coin.
Pate: Yes. I know that. That's the only reason I'm here. I met a magical, mysterious, hooded alchemist who promised me that he could turn iron into gold. And he said be back here at the tavern later tonight. All I had to do was steal one item from the citadel for him and he'd do it! Why, if he can turn a regular coin into a gold coin for me, then I could take Rosey's virginity. That's the only reason I'm waiting here at this tavern. It wasn't to hang out with all of you guys. Because I hate you all. You suck.
Mollander: You're just jealous because one of us is totally going to bang Rosey before you.
Pate: WHAT?! NO!
Armen: Yeah. I'd totally do it.
Alleras: Yeah! Me too! With my penis that I have!
Pate: DUDES, SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU ALL I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU!
Mollander: We don't want to hang out with you anyway. You and your boring talk about fake stuff like alchemists. We're here to talk about real stuff. Real stuff LIKE DRAGONS!
Armen: Oh bull shit! Dragons are extinct.
Mollander: Maybe here in Westeros. But they're alove overseas. Accompanied by a beautiful young queen! The stories are true. There are witnesses.
Alleras: THE DRAGON HAS THREE HEADS!
Roone: Is that some riddle of shit? You know, since we call you "Sphinx," I assume you speak in riddles and shit.
Alleras: No. Not a riddle. The queen you refer to is Daenerys Stormborn, the last of the Targaryens.
Mollander: Ah, yes. The Targaryens. Well, let's have a toast to our rightful queen!
Armen: SHHH!! Dood! Don't say that kind of shit around here. There are spies and snitches everywhere.
A guy walks up.
Lazy Leo: Hi there. I couldn't help but overhear what this guy said. Sounded sort of treason-ey.
Roone: Fuuuuuuck! Mollander, you idiot!
Alleras: Okay blackmailer, what's your price to shut up?
Lazy Leo: Oh, a few beers should keep me quiet. Now let me drunkenly insult you all and talk about Dany. Oh yeah, she's out there in Essos. And she has three dragons. This is a FACT my men. It's confirmed by Maester Marwyn and he knows about shit like that.
Armen: Dude, Marwyn is fucking crazy in the head.
Lazy Leo: No way. This dude has a Dragonglass candle burning in his chambers.
Armen: More crazy talk. Dragonglass can't catch on fire.
Lazy Leo: It can with MAGIC. OoOoOoo... the spooky type of magic that exists when drafons are back in the world, and the old powers awaken.
Mollander: I think this motherfucker has been reading to much Lovecraft.
Alleras: Come on, let's get out of here. This Leo guy is annoying.
And so they all get up to leave. Everyone except for Pate, who is waiting for the alchemist. Oh, and Leo. Who is still there and being annoying.
Lazy Leo: Oh man, you and your obsession with Rosey. Such a loser!
Pate: Shut up! SHUT UP! Or I'll kill you!
Lazy Leo: You can't kill me, loser. My full name is actually Leo... TYRELL! Yeah, you're in some deep shit if you mess with me.
Pate: Ugh. Whatever. Just leave me alone.
And so Pate waits it out for the alchemist. And waits. And waits. And waits.
Finally, his groggy eyes open and he realizes that it's dawn. Even Leo is gone now.
Pate: FUCK! That stupid alchemist never came! I stole that OLD MASTER KEY THAT CAN GET YOU INTO ANYWHERE IN THE CITADEL for no reason.
Pate begins to leave, heading back to the Citadel to return the key. But along the way--
Alchemist: WHOA, hey there buddy!
Pate: DICK! You said you'd be there.
Alchemist: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that man. I just didn't care enough to show up on time. But I'm here now. HEY! How about we go into this back alley where nobody will see or hear whatever I do to you? That seems like a good place to complete our key-for-gold transaction.
Pate: Sure. Sounds reasonable. Especially for a Prologue POV character.
They go into the back alley.
Alchemist: So man, you got that key for me? Here is your gold coin!
He flashes some gold.
Pate: WOW! A real gold coin! SWEET! But wait a minute... I want to know who you are. Take off that hood hiding your face. I want to know WHY you want this key so bad.
Alchemist: That's none of your beeswax. But if you must know... here...
He pulls off his hood.
Pate: Oh. Uhm. I have no idea who you are. Here, have this key.
The man is young, with black hair, and a slight scar on his right cheek. He takes the key.
Pate: Hrm. Why does that sound so familiar?
Alchemist: A man has no idea why that sounds so familiar.
Pate: Why are you talking like that?
Alchemist: Why is a man talking like what?
Pate: LIKE THAT! Exactly like that! Like you're some type of Faceless Man assassin guy.
Alchemist: Oh, well, a man is definitely not an assassin.
The alchemist then murders Pate.
Jaqen H'ghar*: Or maybe, you know, a man is an assassin.
Everyone: Hi, Pate!
Pate: Hi, Everyone!
Pate is novice in the order of the Maesters at the Citadel of Oldtown. He's named after "Spotted Pate," an ugly, pig-nosed boy from old folk tales.
Pate: I HATE MY NAME! And I would definitely never introduce myself by citing the Spotted Pate story. Ever. Remember that for the future.
Pate has been at the Citadel for many years now, trying to earn links on his maester's chain. Try to guess how many he has earned so far.
Zero.
Pate seems pretty worthless. And this is, after all, a Prologue chapter. So by now I think you can guess Pate's fate.
Pate: Hey! That's not true. In the last book, Chett didn't die in the prologue!
True, and while he wasn't technically revealed as dead until a good way through the book - chronologically his death likely only occured a few minutes (or at maximum, hours) after his POV chapter. So yes, if you want to be anal about it... he didn't die in his prologue chapter. He died minutes later.
Pate: HA! See? They don't always die.
Anyway, Pate is drinking in a tavern with fellow novices who are all training to be maesters - Mollander, Alleras "the Sphinx," Armen, and Roone. Don't bother remembering them. None of them will be important at all.
Alleras: Yes. Especially don't remember me. I'm not important at all. Also, do not notice that I have several traits that might be described as feminine. And especially never spell my name backwards and take note of that spelling for a future "missing" character that might be referenced. EVER.
Rosey the Tavern Maid: Hi guys! What will you have to drink?
Alleras: HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN GU-eeerr... yes. I'm a guy. Indeed. *shifty eyes* I'll have beer.
Everyone else orders beer too. Except for Pate. Pate is too busy drooling and blushing. He's totally in love with Rosey the 15-year old tavern maid. He dreams of running away with her and getting married.
Mollander: Haha, stop being a fucking loser, Pate. You'll never get her
Armen: Yes, to have her... you'll have to win her over with true love.
Roone: Indeed, true love... OR you could simply pay her mother, one of the old tavern wenches that runs this place, a single gold dragon. Because her mother totally has totally been going around and telling everyone that her 15-year old daughter's virginity is for sale for a single gold coin.
Pate: Yes. I know that. That's the only reason I'm here. I met a magical, mysterious, hooded alchemist who promised me that he could turn iron into gold. And he said be back here at the tavern later tonight. All I had to do was steal one item from the citadel for him and he'd do it! Why, if he can turn a regular coin into a gold coin for me, then I could take Rosey's virginity. That's the only reason I'm waiting here at this tavern. It wasn't to hang out with all of you guys. Because I hate you all. You suck.
Mollander: You're just jealous because one of us is totally going to bang Rosey before you.
Pate: WHAT?! NO!
Armen: Yeah. I'd totally do it.
Alleras: Yeah! Me too! With my penis that I have!
Pate: DUDES, SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU ALL I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU!
Mollander: We don't want to hang out with you anyway. You and your boring talk about fake stuff like alchemists. We're here to talk about real stuff. Real stuff LIKE DRAGONS!
Armen: Oh bull shit! Dragons are extinct.
Mollander: Maybe here in Westeros. But they're alove overseas. Accompanied by a beautiful young queen! The stories are true. There are witnesses.
Alleras: THE DRAGON HAS THREE HEADS!
Roone: Is that some riddle of shit? You know, since we call you "Sphinx," I assume you speak in riddles and shit.
Alleras: No. Not a riddle. The queen you refer to is Daenerys Stormborn, the last of the Targaryens.
Mollander: Ah, yes. The Targaryens. Well, let's have a toast to our rightful queen!
Armen: SHHH!! Dood! Don't say that kind of shit around here. There are spies and snitches everywhere.
A guy walks up.
Lazy Leo: Hi there. I couldn't help but overhear what this guy said. Sounded sort of treason-ey.
Roone: Fuuuuuuck! Mollander, you idiot!
Alleras: Okay blackmailer, what's your price to shut up?
Lazy Leo: Oh, a few beers should keep me quiet. Now let me drunkenly insult you all and talk about Dany. Oh yeah, she's out there in Essos. And she has three dragons. This is a FACT my men. It's confirmed by Maester Marwyn and he knows about shit like that.
Armen: Dude, Marwyn is fucking crazy in the head.
Lazy Leo: No way. This dude has a Dragonglass candle burning in his chambers.
Armen: More crazy talk. Dragonglass can't catch on fire.
Lazy Leo: It can with MAGIC. OoOoOoo... the spooky type of magic that exists when drafons are back in the world, and the old powers awaken.
Mollander: I think this motherfucker has been reading to much Lovecraft.
Alleras: Come on, let's get out of here. This Leo guy is annoying.
And so they all get up to leave. Everyone except for Pate, who is waiting for the alchemist. Oh, and Leo. Who is still there and being annoying.
Lazy Leo: Oh man, you and your obsession with Rosey. Such a loser!
Pate: Shut up! SHUT UP! Or I'll kill you!
Lazy Leo: You can't kill me, loser. My full name is actually Leo... TYRELL! Yeah, you're in some deep shit if you mess with me.
Pate: Ugh. Whatever. Just leave me alone.
And so Pate waits it out for the alchemist. And waits. And waits. And waits.
Finally, his groggy eyes open and he realizes that it's dawn. Even Leo is gone now.
Pate: FUCK! That stupid alchemist never came! I stole that OLD MASTER KEY THAT CAN GET YOU INTO ANYWHERE IN THE CITADEL for no reason.
Pate begins to leave, heading back to the Citadel to return the key. But along the way--
Alchemist: WHOA, hey there buddy!
Pate: DICK! You said you'd be there.
Alchemist: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that man. I just didn't care enough to show up on time. But I'm here now. HEY! How about we go into this back alley where nobody will see or hear whatever I do to you? That seems like a good place to complete our key-for-gold transaction.
Pate: Sure. Sounds reasonable. Especially for a Prologue POV character.
They go into the back alley.
Alchemist: So man, you got that key for me? Here is your gold coin!
He flashes some gold.
Pate: WOW! A real gold coin! SWEET! But wait a minute... I want to know who you are. Take off that hood hiding your face. I want to know WHY you want this key so bad.
Alchemist: That's none of your beeswax. But if you must know... here...
He pulls off his hood.
Pate: Oh. Uhm. I have no idea who you are. Here, have this key.
The man is young, with black hair, and a slight scar on his right cheek. He takes the key.
Pate: Hrm. Why does that sound so familiar?
Alchemist: A man has no idea why that sounds so familiar.
Pate: Why are you talking like that?
Alchemist: Why is a man talking like what?
Pate: LIKE THAT! Exactly like that! Like you're some type of Faceless Man assassin guy.
Alchemist: Oh, well, a man is definitely not an assassin.
The alchemist then murders Pate.
Jaqen H'ghar*: Or maybe, you know, a man is an assassin.
*Technically not officially confirmed as canon yet, but COME ON people.
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