Dany and her khalasar pass through the Horse Gate leading into Vaes Dothrak, the giant sort-of capitol of the Dothraki. I say "sort of" because they're a nomadic people and so the place is empty most of the time. No people. No buildings. No walls. Really only a bunch of old widows live here permanently. Everyone else is generally out doing that whole pillage and rape thing.
She looks back at her brother, who has now been allowed to ride a horse again rather than walk. She thinks back on all the hilarious insults all the Dothraki had for her brother over the ride here. Some of them were pretty viciously awesome.
Jorah: Oh man... that shit is hilarious! They're calling him the "Cart King" now because he asked to be taken in that cart. Having to be pulled along in a cart is like a HUGE insult in this culture. Even one-legged, elderly, pregnant blind women don't ride in carts. I have got to tell him how much he's being humiliated by everyone. It will be so hilarious to see the look on his face.
Dany: Please don't, Jorah. I know you hate my brother and that would indeed be hilarious. But let him live in ignorance. Like he has been doing his whole life, pretty much.
"King" Shitstain himself then rides up.
Viserys: HEY GUYS! What are you talking about? The Dragon is here now! The Dragon wants to know what's up! The Dragon really hates this place. The Dragon thinks this city is stupid. The Dragon can't understand the language that these barbarians are talking in because they're so primitive. When will these idiot savages give The Dragon his crown and army that the Dragon deserves?
Dany: I agree, brother. My husband promised to give you an army and you shouldn't have to wait. With 10,000 riders you could sweep through the Seven Kingdoms.
Jorah: Pfft. Viserys's incompetent ass couldn't sweep a stable with 10,000 brooms.
Viserys: What was that? The Dragon can't hear so well on account of all the dust in The Dragon's ears from walking through the dirt for all those days.
Jorah: I SAID--
Dany: --SHHH!
Dany and Jorah pull ahead and out of Viserys' ear range.
Dany: Man, stop fucking with him. Didn't you swear yourself to him? You're, like, a really untrustworthy person if you swear yourself to him and then immediately start undermining him and mocking him. It's like I don't know that I should trust you. Like you'd try to betray me or something.
Jorah: *whistling* What? Don't know what you're talking about. I'm totally trustworthy. Look, I'm just saying that someone OTHER than Viserys could totally win. Drogo has 40,000 men. That's what your brother Rhaegar had at the Battle of the Trident. But those men weren't bad ass like these riders. I used to think they were simple barbarians when I first got here, but now I see the truth. Nobody can stop them. But they'll never follow this dickweed. Which is a shame because then I could have revenge on all those people in Westeros. King Robert, Stannis, Tywin and the worst of them all... Ned Stark! That monster who banished me!
Dany: Riiiiiight. Banished you FOR BEING INVOLVED IN THE SLAVE TRADE. Sounds like a real monster.
Jorah: Hey, slavery makes the world go around. Look at this city. See how every building looks different? That's because the Dothraki don't build. But their slaves build houses for themselves. And every house is a different style from slaves from different places.
Cohollo, one of Khal Drogo’s bloodriders, then rides up.
Cohollo: Hey Dany, Khal Drogo is going up on the mountain to like make a sacrifice or some shit. No women allowed. Bros only. So you'll have to chill back here, okay?
Dany: Yeah, sure. Whatever. I'm pregnant and tired anyway.
Dany then thinks about how Drogo's bloodriders are REALLY like his brothers - his family. They are supposed to share everything with each other, except for their horses. Technically they're supposed to even share Dany but Drogo doesn't play by those old fashioned rules. They're such bros that when Drogo dies his bloodriders are supposed to die with him. The only exception would be if he's murdered or something... then they get to live long enough to kill people in order to avenge Drogo before they have to kill themselves.
Dany: No knights in King's Landing are honorable like that. Even the Kingsguard can't be trusted. Jaime Lannister was on the Kingsguard and he murdered the king! That's messed up. And then there's Barristan Selmy too, who quickly joined the side of the usurper after my father was murdered by Jaime. I swear, if I ever run into that Selmy guy I'd never trust him or allow him into my confidence.
Dany is taken to rest for the night, but before she goes to bed she tells Irri and Doreah to go fetch her brother and some food. She has a surprise gift for Viserys that she's sure he'll just looooveee!!!
Viserys soon arrives, but is pulling Doreah by the arm.
Viserys: HOW DARE THE DRAGON BE TREATED LIKE THIS! This feeble savage woman dares to summon and order The Dragon around?
Dany: No, sorry. There must be an understanding. Something lost in translation. There was no summons. I simply asked for you to come! I wanted to give you dinner and present you this new gift!
Dany hands him a new set of clothes that she sewed herself. It's in the Dothraki style, so hopefully the Dothraki will come to treat him well rather than mock him.
Viserys: What are these filthy savage rags you dare to give The Dragon? The Dragon will not wipe his ass with such filthy rags! How dare you try to make The Dragon look like a brown savage. Next you will want The Dragon to grow a beard and tie braids in it.
Dany: Nah, you don't get a beard with braids. Braids are for winners who actually fight in battles and kick ass. You're just a fucking little whiny bitch who complains and speaks in third person all the time.
Viserys: HOW DARE YOU!
He grabs her by the arm and begins to twist it. Afraid and feeling like the little abused girl again, she takes a big metal dragon medallion that was supposed to be a part of Viserys's new outfit and slams it against his forehead. It cuts open and he starts bleeding from the gash in his head like Ric Flair. He also has a backwards dragon pattern indented on his head.
Dany: And don't even THINK about touching me or Drogo will kill you.
Viserys: THE DRAGON WILL NOT FORGET THIS! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE BACK IN THE DRAGON'S KINGDOM!
She looks back at her brother, who has now been allowed to ride a horse again rather than walk. She thinks back on all the hilarious insults all the Dothraki had for her brother over the ride here. Some of them were pretty viciously awesome.
Jorah: Oh man... that shit is hilarious! They're calling him the "Cart King" now because he asked to be taken in that cart. Having to be pulled along in a cart is like a HUGE insult in this culture. Even one-legged, elderly, pregnant blind women don't ride in carts. I have got to tell him how much he's being humiliated by everyone. It will be so hilarious to see the look on his face.
Dany: Please don't, Jorah. I know you hate my brother and that would indeed be hilarious. But let him live in ignorance. Like he has been doing his whole life, pretty much.
"King" Shitstain himself then rides up.
Viserys: HEY GUYS! What are you talking about? The Dragon is here now! The Dragon wants to know what's up! The Dragon really hates this place. The Dragon thinks this city is stupid. The Dragon can't understand the language that these barbarians are talking in because they're so primitive. When will these idiot savages give The Dragon his crown and army that the Dragon deserves?
Dany: I agree, brother. My husband promised to give you an army and you shouldn't have to wait. With 10,000 riders you could sweep through the Seven Kingdoms.
Jorah: Pfft. Viserys's incompetent ass couldn't sweep a stable with 10,000 brooms.
Viserys: What was that? The Dragon can't hear so well on account of all the dust in The Dragon's ears from walking through the dirt for all those days.
Jorah: I SAID--
Dany: --SHHH!
Dany and Jorah pull ahead and out of Viserys' ear range.
Dany: Man, stop fucking with him. Didn't you swear yourself to him? You're, like, a really untrustworthy person if you swear yourself to him and then immediately start undermining him and mocking him. It's like I don't know that I should trust you. Like you'd try to betray me or something.
Jorah: *whistling* What? Don't know what you're talking about. I'm totally trustworthy. Look, I'm just saying that someone OTHER than Viserys could totally win. Drogo has 40,000 men. That's what your brother Rhaegar had at the Battle of the Trident. But those men weren't bad ass like these riders. I used to think they were simple barbarians when I first got here, but now I see the truth. Nobody can stop them. But they'll never follow this dickweed. Which is a shame because then I could have revenge on all those people in Westeros. King Robert, Stannis, Tywin and the worst of them all... Ned Stark! That monster who banished me!
Dany: Riiiiiight. Banished you FOR BEING INVOLVED IN THE SLAVE TRADE. Sounds like a real monster.
Jorah: Hey, slavery makes the world go around. Look at this city. See how every building looks different? That's because the Dothraki don't build. But their slaves build houses for themselves. And every house is a different style from slaves from different places.
Cohollo, one of Khal Drogo’s bloodriders, then rides up.
Cohollo: Hey Dany, Khal Drogo is going up on the mountain to like make a sacrifice or some shit. No women allowed. Bros only. So you'll have to chill back here, okay?
Dany: Yeah, sure. Whatever. I'm pregnant and tired anyway.
Dany then thinks about how Drogo's bloodriders are REALLY like his brothers - his family. They are supposed to share everything with each other, except for their horses. Technically they're supposed to even share Dany but Drogo doesn't play by those old fashioned rules. They're such bros that when Drogo dies his bloodriders are supposed to die with him. The only exception would be if he's murdered or something... then they get to live long enough to kill people in order to avenge Drogo before they have to kill themselves.
Dany: No knights in King's Landing are honorable like that. Even the Kingsguard can't be trusted. Jaime Lannister was on the Kingsguard and he murdered the king! That's messed up. And then there's Barristan Selmy too, who quickly joined the side of the usurper after my father was murdered by Jaime. I swear, if I ever run into that Selmy guy I'd never trust him or allow him into my confidence.
Dany is taken to rest for the night, but before she goes to bed she tells Irri and Doreah to go fetch her brother and some food. She has a surprise gift for Viserys that she's sure he'll just looooveee!!!
Viserys soon arrives, but is pulling Doreah by the arm.
Viserys: HOW DARE THE DRAGON BE TREATED LIKE THIS! This feeble savage woman dares to summon and order The Dragon around?
Dany: No, sorry. There must be an understanding. Something lost in translation. There was no summons. I simply asked for you to come! I wanted to give you dinner and present you this new gift!
Dany hands him a new set of clothes that she sewed herself. It's in the Dothraki style, so hopefully the Dothraki will come to treat him well rather than mock him.
Viserys: What are these filthy savage rags you dare to give The Dragon? The Dragon will not wipe his ass with such filthy rags! How dare you try to make The Dragon look like a brown savage. Next you will want The Dragon to grow a beard and tie braids in it.
Dany: Nah, you don't get a beard with braids. Braids are for winners who actually fight in battles and kick ass. You're just a fucking little whiny bitch who complains and speaks in third person all the time.
Viserys: HOW DARE YOU!
He grabs her by the arm and begins to twist it. Afraid and feeling like the little abused girl again, she takes a big metal dragon medallion that was supposed to be a part of Viserys's new outfit and slams it against his forehead. It cuts open and he starts bleeding from the gash in his head like Ric Flair. He also has a backwards dragon pattern indented on his head.
Dany: And don't even THINK about touching me or Drogo will kill you.
Viserys: THE DRAGON WILL NOT FORGET THIS! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE BACK IN THE DRAGON'S KINGDOM!
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