Dany: Oh, look! That comet is still up in the sky. The same one that I previously interpreted as a sign that I should step into my husband's funeral pyre with my dragon eggs. I'm glad I did that, because I was totally unscathed by the fire and the dragon eggs hatched. So now I have awesome dragons!
Actually, she's not totally unscathed. In the books her hair isn't fireproof. So now she's got a sort of Sinéad O'Connor going on.
Irri: Why do you bring up this comet again, Khaleesi?
Dany: Well, I guess since it's still in the sky, and it's pointing east, I should NOW interpret the comet as a sign for me to follow it east.
Doreah: Are you sure that's a good idea? There is nothing east except for the grim and terrible lands of the dessert for miles and miles. No food, no water, abandoned towns. For thousands of miles. Surely the comet doesn't have to mean "go east." I bet it could mean something else completely.
Dany: Like what?
Jhiqui: Why, I hear that that in King's Landing people call it "Joffrey's comet," in celebration of the new king. Other theories include that it has to do with the Lord of Light and is a signal that Stannis is a re-birthed form of the legendary "Prince that was Promised" and should attack King's Landing; a sign about Ned Stark's death; or a representation of the victories of the Northmen and house Tully against the Lannister forces.
Jhogo: Jhogo thinks it is a herald warning of a coming war; a hot sword on the forge; a sword covered in blood; or maybe a message lighting the way through the Haunted Woods for a campaign north soon to be launched by the Night's Watch.
Irri: It is known.
Jorah: I bet the men of the Iron Isles think it a message from the drowned god; and that septons of the faith of the seven believe it to be an omen that the kingdom is full of corruption that will soon be purified.
Aggo: Aggo believes it could simply be an icy, small body rotating around our sun due to gravitational force. And when passing close to the sun, it warms and begins to release gases in a process called "outgassing." This produces a visible atmosphere or "coma," and ofttimes also a tail. These phenomena are due to the effects of solar radiation and the solar wind acting upon the nucleus of the comet.
Dany: No. I think it means "go east." Especially because all other directions are cut off to us. The other khalasars are all to the north and they hate us and want to kill us. The Lhazareen are to the south and they all hate us and want to kill us. And Khal Pono is driving slaves west to Slaver's Bay, and he--
Doreah: --hates us and wants to kill us. It is known.
Jhiqui: It is known.
Dany: Whatever. I'd like to see Pono try. I've got dragons now!
Jorah: Khaleesi, your dragons are but small babies. He is likely to attack you and seize them. It's best we travel east, as you say.
Dany: I'd like to see him try to seize them! He dare not! For I am the Unburnt and Mother of Dragons! These are new titles that I am adding to my list of titles. Irri, read them back to me.
Irri: You are Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen; the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men; Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea; Deputy Customer Communications Associate for AT&T; Regional Operations Consultant for the Harold Stassen Republican Primary Exploratory Commission of 1984; the Unburnt; and Mother of Dragons.
Doreah: It is known.
Jhiqui: It is known.
And so they ride east. It is a brutal ride since the defectors like Pono and Jhaqo had taken the best horses and people. They are left only with the weak and unwanted. Three days into the ride out west, people start dying because they have no food or water. They begin to butcher some of the weakest horses for their meat. And those dragons are eating lots of meat too. They are fine, young, growing boys. I assume. I dunno.
Dany: Uhh... I don't like assigning a predetermined GENDER to my dragons. I'll let them decide their own gender when they grow up.
OMG, so annoyingly liberal.
Dany: I'm naming this big black and red one "Drogon," after my dead husband Drogo. Oh, I love him and miss him so much! Drogo was my first lover, and will probably be my last ever lover too!
Rakharo: *giggle*
Dany: What? WHAT? What are you laughing at, Rakharo?
Rakharo: Oh, nothing. Nothing, Khalessi. Rakharo is just, ya know, somewhat doubting that statement will hold true.
Dany: *rolls eyes* Anyway, I'll name my green and bronze dragon "Rhaegal" after my cool brother Rhaegar. And I guess I'll name this cream and gold one "Viserion" after my shitty brother Viserys.
Irri: Oh man, poor Viserion. He never had a chance. Not even from the beginning.
Jhiqui: It is known.
Doreah: It is kn-- *falls over and dies*
Dany: WHAT?! What the heck just happened to Doreah?
Jorah: She died, Khaleesi. Everyone is getting sick and dying because this trip is so grueling. I'm not doing so well myself, as I'm still suffering from that injury I got when fighting Qotho.
Dany: Which one was Doreah again?
Jorah: The one who was your sex teacher.
Dany: Ah. I guess I didn't need her anymore since me and Drogo started to get into some really crazy stuff. Does she die at this point in the TV show too?
Jorah: No, they go a different route with her in the show and have her betray you for Xaro Xhoan Daxos. Then you lock them up in a vault together to slowly die.
Dany: Oh. Who the hell is Xaro Xhoan Daxos?
Jorah: Don't worry about it until the end of the chapter.
A few more days pass of grueling travel. Soon, some of Dany's riders spot a city. Dany sends her bloodriders, Aggo, Jhogo, and Rakharo, out to investigate. They come back and report that the place is abandoned.
Jhiqui: Do not go there! It must be a haunted ghost city! It is cursed!
Irri: It is known.
Doreah: ... (says nothing because she's dead)
Dany: Forget that superstitious nonsense. Let's go there now!
And so they march to the city. There they find fruit trees with tons of delicious fruit, deep wells with delicious, cold and refreshing water. But they also find a bunch of old bones laying around. So they go ahead and just name the whole place "City of Bones" in Dothraki, because that's not unsettling at all.
Irri: I'm scared. If this place is so good, then why is it abandoned? I think it must be some type of trap with boogity-boogity ghosts that will kill us.
Dany: My dragons will protect us. We have food and water here. I say we stay. Besides, it's not completely abandoned... this place is full of life. See? There are a bunch of scorpions!
A scorpion crawls up and kills someone. But it's an unimportant character, so don't worry about it.
Jorah: I agree, Khaleesi. We should stay here to recover our strength before moving on. I do not care if there are ghosts here. There are ghosts everywhere.
Dany: Oh wow. Let's turn this statement about "ghosts" into a metaphor for the "ghosts of our past" that haunt us. Okay Jorah, you go first and tell us some deep and sympathetic backstory about your life.
Jorah: What? You mean like about me meeting a beautiful woman who was well above my standing in life? I impressed her by winning a tournament against Jamie Lannister and we fell in love and got married. But afterwards I took her back to my home at Bear Island and she hated it. So I kept having to buy her expensive, lavish gifts in order to keep her happy. And we had to keep going on expensive trips away from Bear Island to try to re-kindle the magic that our relationship initially had. But it was lost and never came back. And along the way, I racked up tons and tons of debt that bankrupted me. Which is why I got involved in catching those poachers in an attempt to sell them to slavers to pay my bills. And after all that... my beautiful wife just left me anyway.
Dany: Yeah, something like that. You're really good at "spinning" a story. Way to use an elaborate story to try to justify you becoming a SLAVE TRADER and making it like you're the victim here.
Jorah: Oh, there is one other part of the story I forgot to tell. It's about what my beautiful wife looked like. She looked almost IDENTICAL TO YOU.
Dany: Ah, creepy. You know, I, uhh... like you, Jorah. But I, erm, don't like you in that way.
They all go to bed that night, and Dany tries not to be too creeped out by Jorah. The next day, Dany decides that it's time to figure out where they go next after their stay in this town.
Dany: Okay, Aggo... you go to the southwest. Rakharo... you go straight south. And Jhogo... to the southeast. Ride for a couple of days and do some scouting. Come back and tell me what you find.
And so Rakharo, Jhogo and Aggo head out in separate directions. Everyone else stays put in the city of bones and start to heal, gain wait, and get better. Jorah's injury is better and nobody is on the brink of death anymore.
Rakharo returns first.
Rakharo: To the south I found nothing but a wasteland. I did find an ancient dragon skeleton though. That thing was HUGE. I could ride my horse through its jawbone. It was a pretty fun excursion like a video game side quest or something.
Dany: Well, I'm glad you didn't get intercepted by rival khalasars of Dothraki and decapitated, only to have your riderless horse sent back to me with your head in a bag
Rakharo: No Khaleesi, that is just the TV show. In the books I am still very much alive.
Aggo returns second.
Aggo: I found two more abandoned cities, but each smaller and shittier than this one.
Dany: And what happened to you in the TV series?
Aggo: Well, that's actually complicated. My character was seemingly never mentioned again. Like I just died out there and my fate was a mystery. Or perhaps I came back but I was simply never seen on screen. Really, the TV show used most of the Khalasar as background extras without names. For years, fans assumed "probably dead." However, it gets more complicated after Season 6 when the TV show gets beyond the books and they introduce a guy named "Aggo," played by a different actor and loyal to Khal Moro. Most fans just assume that they are different characters and there are simply two Dothraki named "Aggo." But other fans speculate that the two Aggos are the same, and that Aggo chose to defect and join a new Khal. I mean they change actors all the time on the show, so it wouldn't be the first time they did something like that. Take the example of the person who kills that "second" Aggo on the show - Daario. On the show, this Aggo meets Jorah and doesn't really seem to recognize him, which would be a good indicator that he is supposed to be a new and different character. But then again, the "second" Aggo is able to discern that Daario and Jorah are not merchants, so some fans still argue that it's the original Aggo, saying that Aggo knew they weren't merchants because he remembered Jorah. But he doesn't say anything specific like, "Hey! No you're not a merchant... you're Jorah, I remember you!" So really, I think those fans are stretching an argument beyond reasonable credibility.
Dany: Okay, that was a lot more info than I was looking for.
Jhogo is the last to return, and brings with him a bunch of weird looking people.
Jhogo: I come back, having found the great city of Qarth. We are cordially invited to join these men and find refuge in their city.
Pyat Pree: I am Pyat Pree, a skeezy warlock.
Xaro Xhoan Daxos: I am Xaro Xhoan Daxos, a merchant prince and one of the thirteen ruling council of Qarth.
Quaithe: I am Quaithe of the Shadow, a mysterious and masked shadowbinder from Asshai.
Dany: Oh, hi Xaro Xhoan Daxos! Jorah was foreshadowing you earlier. You're not going to betray me with Doreah or anything, are you?
Xaro: As this "Doreah" you mention is already dead and I never meet her, no.
Dany: Anyway, good work Jhogo! And I'm pretty sure that your return to me is the same in the books and the show, right?
Jhogo: Very similar, yes. But not exactly the same. For example, in the show my name is "Kovarro" instead of "Jhogo," probably to avoid confusion with Drogo's bloodrider, Jhaqo, who is now leading a rival khalasar. But in a way we're all mixed up because the way Rakharo and Jhogo/Kovarro are described is essentially flipped in the books and TV show. So Kovarro is sort of an amalgam of Rakharo and Jhogo.
Dany: And are you... ermm... I mean is Kovarro still alive in the show?
Jhogo: He's never specifically killed off, but he also never appears again after Season 2. Probably for the same "Dothraki are relegated to background extras" reasoning that Aggo just mentioned.
Dany: Fair enough. Let's go to Qarth!
Actually, she's not totally unscathed. In the books her hair isn't fireproof. So now she's got a sort of Sinéad O'Connor going on.
Irri: Why do you bring up this comet again, Khaleesi?
Dany: Well, I guess since it's still in the sky, and it's pointing east, I should NOW interpret the comet as a sign for me to follow it east.
Doreah: Are you sure that's a good idea? There is nothing east except for the grim and terrible lands of the dessert for miles and miles. No food, no water, abandoned towns. For thousands of miles. Surely the comet doesn't have to mean "go east." I bet it could mean something else completely.
Dany: Like what?
Jhiqui: Why, I hear that that in King's Landing people call it "Joffrey's comet," in celebration of the new king. Other theories include that it has to do with the Lord of Light and is a signal that Stannis is a re-birthed form of the legendary "Prince that was Promised" and should attack King's Landing; a sign about Ned Stark's death; or a representation of the victories of the Northmen and house Tully against the Lannister forces.
Jhogo: Jhogo thinks it is a herald warning of a coming war; a hot sword on the forge; a sword covered in blood; or maybe a message lighting the way through the Haunted Woods for a campaign north soon to be launched by the Night's Watch.
Irri: It is known.
Jorah: I bet the men of the Iron Isles think it a message from the drowned god; and that septons of the faith of the seven believe it to be an omen that the kingdom is full of corruption that will soon be purified.
Aggo: Aggo believes it could simply be an icy, small body rotating around our sun due to gravitational force. And when passing close to the sun, it warms and begins to release gases in a process called "outgassing." This produces a visible atmosphere or "coma," and ofttimes also a tail. These phenomena are due to the effects of solar radiation and the solar wind acting upon the nucleus of the comet.
Dany: No. I think it means "go east." Especially because all other directions are cut off to us. The other khalasars are all to the north and they hate us and want to kill us. The Lhazareen are to the south and they all hate us and want to kill us. And Khal Pono is driving slaves west to Slaver's Bay, and he--
Doreah: --hates us and wants to kill us. It is known.
Jhiqui: It is known.
Dany: Whatever. I'd like to see Pono try. I've got dragons now!
Jorah: Khaleesi, your dragons are but small babies. He is likely to attack you and seize them. It's best we travel east, as you say.
Dany: I'd like to see him try to seize them! He dare not! For I am the Unburnt and Mother of Dragons! These are new titles that I am adding to my list of titles. Irri, read them back to me.
Irri: You are Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen; the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men; Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea; Deputy Customer Communications Associate for AT&T; Regional Operations Consultant for the Harold Stassen Republican Primary Exploratory Commission of 1984; the Unburnt; and Mother of Dragons.
Doreah: It is known.
Jhiqui: It is known.
And so they ride east. It is a brutal ride since the defectors like Pono and Jhaqo had taken the best horses and people. They are left only with the weak and unwanted. Three days into the ride out west, people start dying because they have no food or water. They begin to butcher some of the weakest horses for their meat. And those dragons are eating lots of meat too. They are fine, young, growing boys. I assume. I dunno.
Dany: Uhh... I don't like assigning a predetermined GENDER to my dragons. I'll let them decide their own gender when they grow up.
OMG, so annoyingly liberal.
Dany: I'm naming this big black and red one "Drogon," after my dead husband Drogo. Oh, I love him and miss him so much! Drogo was my first lover, and will probably be my last ever lover too!
Rakharo: *giggle*
Dany: What? WHAT? What are you laughing at, Rakharo?
Rakharo: Oh, nothing. Nothing, Khalessi. Rakharo is just, ya know, somewhat doubting that statement will hold true.
Dany: *rolls eyes* Anyway, I'll name my green and bronze dragon "Rhaegal" after my cool brother Rhaegar. And I guess I'll name this cream and gold one "Viserion" after my shitty brother Viserys.
Irri: Oh man, poor Viserion. He never had a chance. Not even from the beginning.
Jhiqui: It is known.
Doreah: It is kn-- *falls over and dies*
Dany: WHAT?! What the heck just happened to Doreah?
Jorah: She died, Khaleesi. Everyone is getting sick and dying because this trip is so grueling. I'm not doing so well myself, as I'm still suffering from that injury I got when fighting Qotho.
Dany: Which one was Doreah again?
Jorah: The one who was your sex teacher.
Dany: Ah. I guess I didn't need her anymore since me and Drogo started to get into some really crazy stuff. Does she die at this point in the TV show too?
Jorah: No, they go a different route with her in the show and have her betray you for Xaro Xhoan Daxos. Then you lock them up in a vault together to slowly die.
Dany: Oh. Who the hell is Xaro Xhoan Daxos?
Jorah: Don't worry about it until the end of the chapter.
A few more days pass of grueling travel. Soon, some of Dany's riders spot a city. Dany sends her bloodriders, Aggo, Jhogo, and Rakharo, out to investigate. They come back and report that the place is abandoned.
Jhiqui: Do not go there! It must be a haunted ghost city! It is cursed!
Irri: It is known.
Doreah: ... (says nothing because she's dead)
Dany: Forget that superstitious nonsense. Let's go there now!
And so they march to the city. There they find fruit trees with tons of delicious fruit, deep wells with delicious, cold and refreshing water. But they also find a bunch of old bones laying around. So they go ahead and just name the whole place "City of Bones" in Dothraki, because that's not unsettling at all.
Irri: I'm scared. If this place is so good, then why is it abandoned? I think it must be some type of trap with boogity-boogity ghosts that will kill us.
Dany: My dragons will protect us. We have food and water here. I say we stay. Besides, it's not completely abandoned... this place is full of life. See? There are a bunch of scorpions!
A scorpion crawls up and kills someone. But it's an unimportant character, so don't worry about it.
Jorah: I agree, Khaleesi. We should stay here to recover our strength before moving on. I do not care if there are ghosts here. There are ghosts everywhere.
Dany: Oh wow. Let's turn this statement about "ghosts" into a metaphor for the "ghosts of our past" that haunt us. Okay Jorah, you go first and tell us some deep and sympathetic backstory about your life.
Jorah: What? You mean like about me meeting a beautiful woman who was well above my standing in life? I impressed her by winning a tournament against Jamie Lannister and we fell in love and got married. But afterwards I took her back to my home at Bear Island and she hated it. So I kept having to buy her expensive, lavish gifts in order to keep her happy. And we had to keep going on expensive trips away from Bear Island to try to re-kindle the magic that our relationship initially had. But it was lost and never came back. And along the way, I racked up tons and tons of debt that bankrupted me. Which is why I got involved in catching those poachers in an attempt to sell them to slavers to pay my bills. And after all that... my beautiful wife just left me anyway.
Dany: Yeah, something like that. You're really good at "spinning" a story. Way to use an elaborate story to try to justify you becoming a SLAVE TRADER and making it like you're the victim here.
Jorah: Oh, there is one other part of the story I forgot to tell. It's about what my beautiful wife looked like. She looked almost IDENTICAL TO YOU.
Dany: Ah, creepy. You know, I, uhh... like you, Jorah. But I, erm, don't like you in that way.
They all go to bed that night, and Dany tries not to be too creeped out by Jorah. The next day, Dany decides that it's time to figure out where they go next after their stay in this town.
Dany: Okay, Aggo... you go to the southwest. Rakharo... you go straight south. And Jhogo... to the southeast. Ride for a couple of days and do some scouting. Come back and tell me what you find.
And so Rakharo, Jhogo and Aggo head out in separate directions. Everyone else stays put in the city of bones and start to heal, gain wait, and get better. Jorah's injury is better and nobody is on the brink of death anymore.
Rakharo returns first.
Rakharo: To the south I found nothing but a wasteland. I did find an ancient dragon skeleton though. That thing was HUGE. I could ride my horse through its jawbone. It was a pretty fun excursion like a video game side quest or something.
Dany: Well, I'm glad you didn't get intercepted by rival khalasars of Dothraki and decapitated, only to have your riderless horse sent back to me with your head in a bag
Rakharo: No Khaleesi, that is just the TV show. In the books I am still very much alive.
Aggo returns second.
Aggo: I found two more abandoned cities, but each smaller and shittier than this one.
Dany: And what happened to you in the TV series?
Aggo: Well, that's actually complicated. My character was seemingly never mentioned again. Like I just died out there and my fate was a mystery. Or perhaps I came back but I was simply never seen on screen. Really, the TV show used most of the Khalasar as background extras without names. For years, fans assumed "probably dead." However, it gets more complicated after Season 6 when the TV show gets beyond the books and they introduce a guy named "Aggo," played by a different actor and loyal to Khal Moro. Most fans just assume that they are different characters and there are simply two Dothraki named "Aggo." But other fans speculate that the two Aggos are the same, and that Aggo chose to defect and join a new Khal. I mean they change actors all the time on the show, so it wouldn't be the first time they did something like that. Take the example of the person who kills that "second" Aggo on the show - Daario. On the show, this Aggo meets Jorah and doesn't really seem to recognize him, which would be a good indicator that he is supposed to be a new and different character. But then again, the "second" Aggo is able to discern that Daario and Jorah are not merchants, so some fans still argue that it's the original Aggo, saying that Aggo knew they weren't merchants because he remembered Jorah. But he doesn't say anything specific like, "Hey! No you're not a merchant... you're Jorah, I remember you!" So really, I think those fans are stretching an argument beyond reasonable credibility.
Dany: Okay, that was a lot more info than I was looking for.
Jhogo is the last to return, and brings with him a bunch of weird looking people.
Jhogo: I come back, having found the great city of Qarth. We are cordially invited to join these men and find refuge in their city.
Pyat Pree: I am Pyat Pree, a skeezy warlock.
Xaro Xhoan Daxos: I am Xaro Xhoan Daxos, a merchant prince and one of the thirteen ruling council of Qarth.
Quaithe: I am Quaithe of the Shadow, a mysterious and masked shadowbinder from Asshai.
Dany: Oh, hi Xaro Xhoan Daxos! Jorah was foreshadowing you earlier. You're not going to betray me with Doreah or anything, are you?
Xaro: As this "Doreah" you mention is already dead and I never meet her, no.
Dany: Anyway, good work Jhogo! And I'm pretty sure that your return to me is the same in the books and the show, right?
Jhogo: Very similar, yes. But not exactly the same. For example, in the show my name is "Kovarro" instead of "Jhogo," probably to avoid confusion with Drogo's bloodrider, Jhaqo, who is now leading a rival khalasar. But in a way we're all mixed up because the way Rakharo and Jhogo/Kovarro are described is essentially flipped in the books and TV show. So Kovarro is sort of an amalgam of Rakharo and Jhogo.
Dany: And are you... ermm... I mean is Kovarro still alive in the show?
Jhogo: He's never specifically killed off, but he also never appears again after Season 2. Probably for the same "Dothraki are relegated to background extras" reasoning that Aggo just mentioned.
Dany: Fair enough. Let's go to Qarth!
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