Arya: Oh man... a third chapter for me already? The last time a character had this vast amount of chapters so frequently it was my dad and things didn't go well for him.
Arya continues up the road heading towards Winterfell. Now the vast numbers of men they see on the road have trickled down to almost nobody at all. Despite that, Arya remains paranoid about the gold cloaks, and is constantly looking over her shoulder in the event they might show up again.
All the other boys are super impressed with Gendry. They know he must be really important since the Queen sent men to kill him.
Lommy Greenhands: I bet that he must be that Wolf Lord's bastard son!
Arya is angry and wants to beat the crap out of Lommy for insulting her father and claiming he has more bastards than Jon. But she knows she can't because she'll give away her identity and Yoren will beat her ass again.
Now the group has veered off the Kingsroad because it's not safe from the war. Instead they go around the west side of the God's Eye where there is rough terrain. They have to hunt and pick berries for food. Arya catches a rabbit because all of her awesome cat-chasing skills she acquired. Yoren cooks it up in a stew and everyone gets a spoonful... except Arya. She gets a whole leg for catching it. She shares it with Gendry because she totally has a crush.
Arya: DO NOT!
Do too.
Soon they come upon a cornfield, and the owners of the field demand money for the corn they started to pick from it.
Yoren: What the hell? You know, back in the day... brothers of the Night's Watch used to be feasted and respected when they traveled north! Welcomed in with open hearts!
Farmer: Well, yeah... that was before the entire kingdom was on fire and murderers were roaming up and down pillaging our shit. So GET LOST.
They continue north. As they cross more farms, they find them guarded by men with weapons so they keep going.
Soon after, one of their scouts stumbles onto the scene where some kind of battle or raid must have taken place. Men and horses are dying and wounded. Yoren navigates around the battlefield since the remaining men might want to steal their horses and provisions.
Later, they find the burned remains of a village and its nearby farms. There are burned bodies all over the place. Most of the kids and criminals being sent north are horrified by the sight. But Arya sort of digs it since she's a sociopath.
They investigate the village.
Yoren: Hey, look what I found!
Little Girl: *crying*
One-Armed Woman: *moaning because her arm has been cut off*
Arya: Oh, SICK! A crying girl and a woman with her arm cut off. And by "sick" I mean "awesome."
Rorge: Hahaha! Hilarious.
Biter: *biting noises*
Hot Pie: Oh man, this is scary.
Arya: Yeah, I'm actually a bit scared too.
Hot Pie: You know Arry, I never really kicked that boy to death like I said. I just lied to try to scare you and seem tough. All I did was sell my mother's pies.
Arya: I knew it!
One-Armed Woman: *dies*
Arya: Well, that didn't take long. She lasted about the same length as Praed.
The winds are intense that night as they bury the woman, and Arya thinks the sound of the winds against the willow trees is exactly like the moaning noises of the one-armed woman. But then again, these Stark kids always have weird interpretations of what the trees are trying to tell them. Just look at that weirdo Bran.
They set up no camp fire, for fear that they will be seen and attacked by whoever is killing everyone and setting everything on fire. Since they can't cook, they barely have anything to eat and Arya fills her belly with water in the hopes that will fill her cravings. But she drinks so much that she has to pee. She sneaks off to "make water" in the woods far away so that nobody can see she squats like a girl.
Hot Pie: Hey Arry! What are you doing? Don't wonder off like that! There are wolves in these woods!
Arya: Wow... I got caught by freaking HOT PIE? I must not be as stealthy as I thought I was.
Arya pretends to be afraid of the wolves to throw Hot Pie off. But then when he's not looking she just sneaks off again to pee.
Arya: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
That's the soothing, relaxing "ahh" sound of urinating. Not the "AGH!" sound of being scared. Although Arya will soon make that sound too.
Arya: AGGGHHH!!!!
See? Because all of a sudden as she pees, she sees a bunch of glowing wolf eyes stare at her.
She pulls out Needle and points it at a snarling wolf. The wolf turns around and backs off. The pack follows.
Arya: Oh man, I wonder if that was Nymeria!
Arya quickly heads back to camp and finds Yoren.
Arya: OMG, there are WOLVES out there.
Yoren: *shrugs*
Arya: You know, I once had a pet direwolf named Nymeria. I was forced to drive her off. I threw rocks at her and she--
Yoren: --Don't care, BOY. The only wolves I care about are the human-kind of wolves, like the ones who lit fire to that village back there. I tell ya, this is crazy. I've been bringing men up to this wall for thirty years and can you guess how many men I've lost that whole time?
Arya: I dunno. Like, three or something?
Yoren: Shit, that's right! You're pretty good at this. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that the world has gone mad. It was never this bad... even during Robert's Rebellion. Now try to go get some sleep, BOY.
Arya: Yes, telling me how war ravaged this place is now and how it's worse than ever will definitely help soothe me to sleep. Thanks for the advice.
Arya lays down and closes her eyes. In the distance, she hears wolves howling. Even further away, she hears the sound of screaming.
Arya: THIS IS SO METAL.
Arya continues up the road heading towards Winterfell. Now the vast numbers of men they see on the road have trickled down to almost nobody at all. Despite that, Arya remains paranoid about the gold cloaks, and is constantly looking over her shoulder in the event they might show up again.
All the other boys are super impressed with Gendry. They know he must be really important since the Queen sent men to kill him.
Lommy Greenhands: I bet that he must be that Wolf Lord's bastard son!
Arya is angry and wants to beat the crap out of Lommy for insulting her father and claiming he has more bastards than Jon. But she knows she can't because she'll give away her identity and Yoren will beat her ass again.
Now the group has veered off the Kingsroad because it's not safe from the war. Instead they go around the west side of the God's Eye where there is rough terrain. They have to hunt and pick berries for food. Arya catches a rabbit because all of her awesome cat-chasing skills she acquired. Yoren cooks it up in a stew and everyone gets a spoonful... except Arya. She gets a whole leg for catching it. She shares it with Gendry because she totally has a crush.
Arya: DO NOT!
Do too.
Soon they come upon a cornfield, and the owners of the field demand money for the corn they started to pick from it.
Yoren: What the hell? You know, back in the day... brothers of the Night's Watch used to be feasted and respected when they traveled north! Welcomed in with open hearts!
Farmer: Well, yeah... that was before the entire kingdom was on fire and murderers were roaming up and down pillaging our shit. So GET LOST.
They continue north. As they cross more farms, they find them guarded by men with weapons so they keep going.
Soon after, one of their scouts stumbles onto the scene where some kind of battle or raid must have taken place. Men and horses are dying and wounded. Yoren navigates around the battlefield since the remaining men might want to steal their horses and provisions.
Later, they find the burned remains of a village and its nearby farms. There are burned bodies all over the place. Most of the kids and criminals being sent north are horrified by the sight. But Arya sort of digs it since she's a sociopath.
They investigate the village.
Yoren: Hey, look what I found!
Little Girl: *crying*
One-Armed Woman: *moaning because her arm has been cut off*
Arya: Oh, SICK! A crying girl and a woman with her arm cut off. And by "sick" I mean "awesome."
Rorge: Hahaha! Hilarious.
Biter: *biting noises*
Hot Pie: Oh man, this is scary.
Arya: Yeah, I'm actually a bit scared too.
Hot Pie: You know Arry, I never really kicked that boy to death like I said. I just lied to try to scare you and seem tough. All I did was sell my mother's pies.
Arya: I knew it!
One-Armed Woman: *dies*
Arya: Well, that didn't take long. She lasted about the same length as Praed.
The winds are intense that night as they bury the woman, and Arya thinks the sound of the winds against the willow trees is exactly like the moaning noises of the one-armed woman. But then again, these Stark kids always have weird interpretations of what the trees are trying to tell them. Just look at that weirdo Bran.
They set up no camp fire, for fear that they will be seen and attacked by whoever is killing everyone and setting everything on fire. Since they can't cook, they barely have anything to eat and Arya fills her belly with water in the hopes that will fill her cravings. But she drinks so much that she has to pee. She sneaks off to "make water" in the woods far away so that nobody can see she squats like a girl.
Hot Pie: Hey Arry! What are you doing? Don't wonder off like that! There are wolves in these woods!
Arya: Wow... I got caught by freaking HOT PIE? I must not be as stealthy as I thought I was.
Arya pretends to be afraid of the wolves to throw Hot Pie off. But then when he's not looking she just sneaks off again to pee.
Arya: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
That's the soothing, relaxing "ahh" sound of urinating. Not the "AGH!" sound of being scared. Although Arya will soon make that sound too.
Arya: AGGGHHH!!!!
See? Because all of a sudden as she pees, she sees a bunch of glowing wolf eyes stare at her.
She pulls out Needle and points it at a snarling wolf. The wolf turns around and backs off. The pack follows.
Arya: Oh man, I wonder if that was Nymeria!
Arya quickly heads back to camp and finds Yoren.
Arya: OMG, there are WOLVES out there.
Yoren: *shrugs*
Arya: You know, I once had a pet direwolf named Nymeria. I was forced to drive her off. I threw rocks at her and she--
Yoren: --Don't care, BOY. The only wolves I care about are the human-kind of wolves, like the ones who lit fire to that village back there. I tell ya, this is crazy. I've been bringing men up to this wall for thirty years and can you guess how many men I've lost that whole time?
Arya: I dunno. Like, three or something?
Yoren: Shit, that's right! You're pretty good at this. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that the world has gone mad. It was never this bad... even during Robert's Rebellion. Now try to go get some sleep, BOY.
Arya: Yes, telling me how war ravaged this place is now and how it's worse than ever will definitely help soothe me to sleep. Thanks for the advice.
Arya lays down and closes her eyes. In the distance, she hears wolves howling. Even further away, she hears the sound of screaming.
Arya: THIS IS SO METAL.
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