The men of the Night's Watch arrive at the "Fist of the First Men." It's a giant hill beyond the haunted forest that actually looks a bit like a giant rock fist coming from the ground.
Lord Commander Mormont: Well, this looks like a good, defensive location to set up shop.
Thoren Smallwood: Yes, it shall be easy to defend. We will stay here.
Jon: But it's super high up and there is no water here. We'd have to climb down the hill every day to get water.
Lord Commander: Stop whining, kid! Just go down and fetch water when I tell you to. I think the defensive benefits of this place far outweigh that. Besides... the First Men built this giant stone ring here thousands of years ago that will protect us even more.
With that settled, Jon begins to set up the stuff for the Lord Commander. He can tell that ol' man Mormont is tired and beat. Too old to have gone on this expedition. After that's all done, Jon goes off to find Ghost. As they were coming up the Fist, Ghost got spooked and refused to follow the rest of them.
Jon: Hrm. My wolf, which on numerous occasions has continually showed the ability to sense danger and magical forces in his surroundings, refuses to come to this area. So, rather than being sensible and taking that as a sign of possible impending doom... I will just ignore it and figure that he's being a silly dog.
Eventually, a skiddish Ghost shows up.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: I'm not saying that you're all going to die. But you're all going to die.]
Night falls and Sam shows up to chat with Jon.
Sam: Whattup? How long are we here for? I'm scared of this place.
Jon: Lord Mormont says that we are to wait here until the last 100 men from Qhorin Halfhand's army of the Shadow Tower show up. You better send a raven back to Castle Black and let them know.
Sam: Okay. I know the raven I send will be happy about that. These ravens hate being caged. I wish I were a raven too. I'd fly back to Castle Black and go eat some pork pies.
Jon: Of course you would, fatty.
Raven: Corn.
The two then return to camp. In the sky is "Mormont's Torch," the name they have given the Red Comet.
Brother of the Night's Watch: They say that the Red Comet means that some young queen in Essos should step into her husband's funeral pyre with her dragon eggs to hatch them, and then should follow the comet to Qarth in order to--
--A bear comes out of the woods and eats that guy. Now there are only 199 men here instead of 200.
Mormont: There you are, Jon! I'd like some hot, spiced wine.
The book then goes on for what feels like four pages of GRRM explaining just exactly the right amount of spice that Lord Mormont likes in his wine, as well as the preferred lemon content of his beer in the mornings. I'm not kidding. We'll skip that bullshit here in the Jingle of Ice and Fire.
As Jon makes the wine, he overhears other talking about the best strategies to attack the armies of Mance Rayder in the Frostfangs where they are hiding out.
Mormont: Forget that nonsense. I'm not attacking anyone. I mean to stay here at the Fist and let them come for us. We have good defense here. I want the Rangers to pull back and stop scouting so much.
Jon: What?! But the Rangers are supposed to be out looking for Uncle Benjen.
Mormont: Hahaha, yeah. Like that is going to happen, kid. Your uncle is dead as fuck.
Jon: *pouty face*
Mormont: But seriously... do you think it's easier for 200 men to go out and find one man... or one man to find 200 men? If we stay here and make all sorts of noise, have camp fires that give off smoke, etc... then if Benjen is alive... he will find us.
Jon: Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Mormont: You're damn right it does.
Jon: So here is your spiced wine, m'Lord. Want me to start making your dinner too?
Mormont: Nah. I'm not even hungry. I'm just going to drink and pass out.
And so Mormont does that.
Even though Mormont wasn't hungry, Jon is. With his boss taking an old man nap, Jon heads back to grab some grub of his own. He joins Dywen, Grenn, Dolorous Edd, and Hake... who are all eating some stew.
Dywen: I don't like this place. It smells like... cold.
Edd: Don't be a moron, "cold" doesn't smell.
But Jon knows exactly what Dywen means. He smells it too. Some more cryptic shit. And speaking of cryptic shit... Ghost shows up again.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: HEY! Follow me, Jon.]
Ghost then runs away.
Jon: What? What is it, boy? Do you want me to follow you?
Ghost turns back.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: Yes, dickhead. That's EXACTLY what I just said.]
Ghost keeps going.
Jon follows him.
And follows him.
And follows him.
It's the middle of the night. The land is full of rocks and roots that are tripping him up in the dark. Jon loses track of Ghost several times. But he eventually finds him again and again.
Finally, Ghost stands in a spot by the ground and sniffs at it.
Jon looks. It looks like some makeshift grave. The soil has clearly been disturbed.
Jon: Gross, Ghost. You want me to dig up some dead body so that you can eat it? I don't think we're that desperate for food yet.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: Look, just fucking do it, okay.]
Jon digs up the ground and instead of finding a body, finds a nice piece of cloth that is wrapping something up. He unwraps it and finds a shitload of weapons.
Jon: Wow! Swords, arrowheads, knives! Some kind of OLD, CRACKED WARHORN. I wonder if this OLD, CRACKED WARHORN means anything. All kinds of sweet shit. But it's not made from metal. It's made from... geez... what is this? Oh yeah, I know! This is obsidian, AKA, "dragonglass." And this cloth that it's wrapped in. It's very nice. WAIT A MINUTE. I recognize this! This is the cloth of the Night's Watch!
So of COURSE Jon assumes this must have something to do with Benjen. I mean this kid is obsessed.
Lord Commander Mormont: Well, this looks like a good, defensive location to set up shop.
Thoren Smallwood: Yes, it shall be easy to defend. We will stay here.
Jon: But it's super high up and there is no water here. We'd have to climb down the hill every day to get water.
Lord Commander: Stop whining, kid! Just go down and fetch water when I tell you to. I think the defensive benefits of this place far outweigh that. Besides... the First Men built this giant stone ring here thousands of years ago that will protect us even more.
With that settled, Jon begins to set up the stuff for the Lord Commander. He can tell that ol' man Mormont is tired and beat. Too old to have gone on this expedition. After that's all done, Jon goes off to find Ghost. As they were coming up the Fist, Ghost got spooked and refused to follow the rest of them.
Jon: Hrm. My wolf, which on numerous occasions has continually showed the ability to sense danger and magical forces in his surroundings, refuses to come to this area. So, rather than being sensible and taking that as a sign of possible impending doom... I will just ignore it and figure that he's being a silly dog.
Eventually, a skiddish Ghost shows up.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: I'm not saying that you're all going to die. But you're all going to die.]
Night falls and Sam shows up to chat with Jon.
Sam: Whattup? How long are we here for? I'm scared of this place.
Jon: Lord Mormont says that we are to wait here until the last 100 men from Qhorin Halfhand's army of the Shadow Tower show up. You better send a raven back to Castle Black and let them know.
Sam: Okay. I know the raven I send will be happy about that. These ravens hate being caged. I wish I were a raven too. I'd fly back to Castle Black and go eat some pork pies.
Jon: Of course you would, fatty.
Raven: Corn.
The two then return to camp. In the sky is "Mormont's Torch," the name they have given the Red Comet.
Brother of the Night's Watch: They say that the Red Comet means that some young queen in Essos should step into her husband's funeral pyre with her dragon eggs to hatch them, and then should follow the comet to Qarth in order to--
--A bear comes out of the woods and eats that guy. Now there are only 199 men here instead of 200.
Mormont: There you are, Jon! I'd like some hot, spiced wine.
The book then goes on for what feels like four pages of GRRM explaining just exactly the right amount of spice that Lord Mormont likes in his wine, as well as the preferred lemon content of his beer in the mornings. I'm not kidding. We'll skip that bullshit here in the Jingle of Ice and Fire.
As Jon makes the wine, he overhears other talking about the best strategies to attack the armies of Mance Rayder in the Frostfangs where they are hiding out.
Mormont: Forget that nonsense. I'm not attacking anyone. I mean to stay here at the Fist and let them come for us. We have good defense here. I want the Rangers to pull back and stop scouting so much.
Jon: What?! But the Rangers are supposed to be out looking for Uncle Benjen.
Mormont: Hahaha, yeah. Like that is going to happen, kid. Your uncle is dead as fuck.
Jon: *pouty face*
Mormont: But seriously... do you think it's easier for 200 men to go out and find one man... or one man to find 200 men? If we stay here and make all sorts of noise, have camp fires that give off smoke, etc... then if Benjen is alive... he will find us.
Jon: Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Mormont: You're damn right it does.
Jon: So here is your spiced wine, m'Lord. Want me to start making your dinner too?
Mormont: Nah. I'm not even hungry. I'm just going to drink and pass out.
And so Mormont does that.
Even though Mormont wasn't hungry, Jon is. With his boss taking an old man nap, Jon heads back to grab some grub of his own. He joins Dywen, Grenn, Dolorous Edd, and Hake... who are all eating some stew.
Dywen: I don't like this place. It smells like... cold.
Edd: Don't be a moron, "cold" doesn't smell.
But Jon knows exactly what Dywen means. He smells it too. Some more cryptic shit. And speaking of cryptic shit... Ghost shows up again.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: HEY! Follow me, Jon.]
Ghost then runs away.
Jon: What? What is it, boy? Do you want me to follow you?
Ghost turns back.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: Yes, dickhead. That's EXACTLY what I just said.]
Ghost keeps going.
Jon follows him.
And follows him.
And follows him.
It's the middle of the night. The land is full of rocks and roots that are tripping him up in the dark. Jon loses track of Ghost several times. But he eventually finds him again and again.
Finally, Ghost stands in a spot by the ground and sniffs at it.
Jon looks. It looks like some makeshift grave. The soil has clearly been disturbed.
Jon: Gross, Ghost. You want me to dig up some dead body so that you can eat it? I don't think we're that desperate for food yet.
Ghost: *woof* [Translation: Look, just fucking do it, okay.]
Jon digs up the ground and instead of finding a body, finds a nice piece of cloth that is wrapping something up. He unwraps it and finds a shitload of weapons.
Jon: Wow! Swords, arrowheads, knives! Some kind of OLD, CRACKED WARHORN. I wonder if this OLD, CRACKED WARHORN means anything. All kinds of sweet shit. But it's not made from metal. It's made from... geez... what is this? Oh yeah, I know! This is obsidian, AKA, "dragonglass." And this cloth that it's wrapped in. It's very nice. WAIT A MINUTE. I recognize this! This is the cloth of the Night's Watch!
So of COURSE Jon assumes this must have something to do with Benjen. I mean this kid is obsessed.
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