Bran is working the bellows for the blacksmith, Mikken.
Bran: Wait... what is a "bellows" anyway?
Mikken: It's like one of those things that looks like an accordion that you use to blow air into a fire so that it gets hotter.
Bran: Oh, okay.
Alebelly then walks in. I can't remember if I've explained who Alebelly is before. He's just a fat, worthless guard who works here at Winterfell. All the first-tier guards and soldiers went south with Eddard first (and promptly died). Then the second-tier guards went south with Robb for the war. So alebelly is what Bran is left with.
Alebelly: Ah, here you are, Bran. We got a raven with a letter from your brother.
Bran: Sweet! Let me see it!
Alebelly: Well, the letter is back at Maester Luwin's place.
Bran: Cool. I guess you're going to carry me back there then.
Alebelly: Ugh.
But Alebelly carries him back anyway. Rickon is there, waiting. So are those two Frey kids.
Luwin: Okay kids, time to talk to you all about war!
Kids: YAY! WAR!
Luwin: Robb beat the shit out of the Lannister army at the Battle of Oxcross, killing the leader of the Lannisters there - Ser Stafford Lannister. He's also taken a bunch of castles and is now at Ashemark, the stronghold of House Marbrand.
Bran: Thanks for the plot exposition, Luwin!
Rickon: When are Robb and daddy coming home?
Bran: Hahaha, you fucking moron, Rickon. Daddy is dead.
Big Walder: Who gives a shit if Robb beat Stafford Lannister? Who the fuck is that even? It's like that character was made up this chapter just to die. Until Tywin Lannister is defeated... none of that matters.
Bran: As much as I hate these Frey kids, he's right.
Luwin: Well, there is also some terrible news I have to share about the war too. And I'm sorry to say this, Frey kids, but your uncle Ser Stevron Frey died in the battle.
Big Walder: Meh.
Little Walder: Yeah, who cares?
Luwin: Wow, that is some cold shit there. You kids should be ashamed.
Bran: Wow! That Frey guy dying really makes me sad. But the Frey kids don't seem to be that upset about it. This reminds me of the prophesy that Jojen made about the Frey kids enjoying their meat more than me. Jojen's prophesy must have been all metaphoric and the "meat" really meant "news."
Luwin: Holy shit, Bran. You really are stretching the premise of that prophesy a little thin.
Osha then shows up to take Bran away back to his room.
Bran: Hey Osha, do you know the way north? I want to go there.
Osha: Sure, you just follow the Ice Dragon!
Bran: WHOA! Is there really an Ice Dragon? Or is that just some constellation in the sky? You know, like how you find the little dipper constellation and it points to Polaris, the "North Star?"
Osha: Well, in this chapter it's not 100% specific, although the text of "The Sword Sword," a Dunk and Egg prequel story, strongly supports that I was implying the latter. As for whether there are Ice Dragons or not... we'll just have to wait and see.
Bran: But Viserion is an Ice Dragon in the TV show now, right?
Osha: The books are the books, and the show is the show. Let's just keep these things separate, okay?
Bran: I want to go north and meet the three-eyed crow!
Osha: I literally have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.
Osha sets him down and leaves.
Not long after, Meera shows up to his bedroom.
Bran: YES! Okay! Go ahead and take my pants off. You know I can't myself.
Then Jojen shows up, right behind her.
Bran: Awwwww! Damnit.
Jojen: Whoa, like, sorry for breaking into your room like this, man. I was just looking for my stash!
Bran: Oh hey - Jojen! That story you told me. The one about your green sight. It came true. Only it wasn't my supper. It was a letter from Robb.
Jojen: Yeah, man. When I smoke the whacky tobacky, it's hard to interpret my dreams, man. There are so many colors and things, man. Far out.
Bran: So how about you tell me another one of your dreams then? Since I've taken great lengths to interpret your vision about eating dinner to really mean reading a letter - I am now officially part of the cult of Jojen, and am willing to believe that anything you say is a true vision of the future.
Jojen: So, like, the last time I hit a blunt I dreamt about the sea, man. The sea rose up and flooded Winterfell. All these people died, man!
Bran: OH SHIT! Who?
Jojen: Alebelly, Septon Chayle, and Mikken. They all died, man. Sorry to break it to you, buddy.
Bran: OH SHIT! Your dreams always come true! After all -- you told me that I wouldn't enjoy my dinner and I didn't enjoy the contents of a letter. That's a PERFECT example of your 100% effective accuracy in dream interpretation! WE NEED TO WARN THEM!
Jojen: That won't save them, man. There is no way to save them. Now tell me about your dreams, man.
Bran: Well I have different dreams. Some of them are wolf dreams. I run around and kill squirrels and shit. Then there are the other dreams where the crow tells me to fly and fetch him corn. Then I just fall. I never used to fall. I used to feed the crows in the tower and I never once fell. But now I fall every time I have the crow dream. Sometimes there are other dreams when trees are talking to me. They call my name.
Jojen: Dude, those wolf dreams aren't dreams, man. They're REAL! You're a warg, Bran!
Bran: THE FUCK I AM! Old Nan would tell me stories about those creepers. I'm not one of them.
Jojen: It's true. People will hate you because they fear you. But it's only because they're fascists who don't understand you.
Bran: I don't want to be a warg! I want to be a knight!
Jojen: No way, man. You're, like, the winged wolf. You gotta learn to fly, brother. But you can't learn to fly unless you smoke so much doobie that your third eye opens.
Jojen then taps bran on the forehead, indicating where hid third eye is.
Jojen: It's your ajna, man. It's your charka. The gate that leads to the inner realms of higher consciousness.
Bran: You fucking hippies always get into Eastern Religion for some reason and I don't know why. Luwin says the dreams are just dreams and that's that.
Jojen: These dreams are more, man. They are the past. They are the present. They are the future, man. They are enlightenment. A deeper state of spiritual being. The third eye is the mind's eye.
And so they leave, with Bran totally freaked out by this crazy hippy shit. Bran tries to "open" his third eye, but has no luck. All he does is burst a blood vessel in his forehead and give himself a migraine.
For the next several days, Bran tries to warn everyone about Jojen's freaky hippy dream, but no one seems to believe him. Mikken laughs, and jokes that he always wanted to see the sea. Septon Chayle states the gods will take him when they do, and he does not think he will drown since he grew up on the banks of the White Knife.
Septon Chayle: Also, you have a library book due, Bran. Don't think that being a cripple who can't walk will get you out of the late fee. I am charging you for that shit. And why did you check out a book about Taoism anyway?
Bran tells Alebelly too. He's the only one who seems to believe Bran. So to avoid drowning, he refuses to take a bath and starts stinking really badly. Eventually the townspeople grab him and force him to shower because he's rank AF.
And hey, speaking of stinky people...
Ser Rodrik Cassel: Hey everyone! I'm back! And I have this hostage here. His name is "Reek."
Bran: Oh shit. You were gone?
Rodrick: Yes. Now let me tell you where I was. Remember all the shit about civil war that broke out here? With this bastard son of Roose Bolton kidnapping and marrying Lady Hornwood and then House Manderly sending an army to go attack him and the Boltons? Well, Lady Hornwood is dead now.
Bran: FUUUUUUCK! I wish I had respected her a little bit more in all those chapters rather than making fun of her. And I'm sorry for you too, Rod. Because I know you wanted to hit that.
Rodrick: Yeah. It was brutal. Anyway, this bastard kid, Ramsay Snow, chained up Lady Hornwood and starved her to death. All her fingers were eaten off and she apparently did it herself because she was so hungry. My forces tracked down this Ramsay Snow kid and shot him to death. So he's totally dead and we'll never hear about him again. Although I somewhat fear that his father, Lord Bolton, might still want to lay claim to the lands of House Hornwood. Lady Hornwood did sign a will that said Ramsay was the heir. Although she signed it under duress, so it should be invalid.
Bran: So what is up with this smelly Reek asshole then?
Rodrick: Ah, well he is Ramsay Snow's stank-ass, weird servant. We need to keep him alive as a witness. That way we can prove to Robb that Ramsay was a sick fuck that forced Lady Hornwood to sign the will before he murdered her. Then Robb will rule in favor of the House Manderly. Right now the Manderlys and the Boltons are still fighting over the land and my men weren't enough to stop it. So we just came back home to here.
Bran: Cool, that's nifty.
"Reek:" Yes, I am definitely "Reek." I'm not at all just Ramsay Snow in disguise, with the real Reek taking my place and getting shot instead. Mwahahaha!
Bran: Why would you say that?
Rodrick: So now we have another smelly asshole in this town. Speaking of which, Bran, why did you make it so that Alebelly wouldn't bathe again? I heard about that.
Bran: Ah, you see... [Bran explains the whole story about the green dreams and the drowning].
Rodrick: Hrm, sometimes I think you're fucking crazy, Bran.
Luwin: I told Bran that too. We have no risk of being drowned here in Winterfell. Unless, of course, we interpret Jojen Reed's dream as a metaphor. Then the water that fills Winterfell and drowns us could be symbolic of armies coming from the water and killing us. Which is totally plausible, considering the numerous reports we are hearing about people from the Iron Isles attacking our coastline and raiding all over the North.
Rodrick: Hrm. So should we believe that this drowning dream is a metaphor alluding to the exact thing you are describing as happening... and therefore look to double or triple our security?
Luwin: Nah.
Rodrick: I agree! "Nah" is the obvious and correct answer.
Bran meets with the Reeds later that night.
Bran: ...So... in conclusion, I talked with Luwin and Rodrick and they both said that nothing bad would happen. So I know your dream about Chayle, Alebelly and Mikken dying won't come true.
Meera: Maybe it's possible to for prophesies to not come true. Maybe the future can change. Maybe the future is what we make of it!
Jojen: No way, Meera. They're going to die, man. It's happening. Sorry to be such a bummer.
Meera: NO! Stop being a dick, Jojen. Bran and Alebelly can fight to avoid their fates!
Bran: Whoa, whoa, WHOAAAAAA! Bran? BRAN?! Why the fuck did you just mention my name for? Am I going to drown too?
Meera's face turns red as she revealed too much.
Meera: Errm... uhh... no... it's just that...
Jojen: --I, like, had another dream, Bran. Sorry, man. But I walked behind the 7 Eleven, man. And I scored this really good quality Durban Poison off of a dealer. This is great stuff, man. The purest sativa you can get, shipped in from South Africa. And after just one toke I had my dream, man. And I saw you dying, buddy! I saw it! You and your brother, Rickon.
Bran: WHAT?!
Jojen: Yeah, man. You know this new guy who showed up in town named "Reek?" Well, your dead bodies were laying in front of him. And he was, like, skinning off your faces with a blade.
Bran: FUCKING SICK, MAN. You are SICK!
Meera: This can't happen if Reek is dead, right? I say we go to the dungeons and kill him RIGHT NOW.
Jojen: Violence is never the answer, man! Make love, not war.
Meera: You're super annoying, Jojen.
Jojen: I've seen the future, Meera. You won't succeed. If you try, then the pigs will stop you. They'll never believe you, man. There is no way for Bran to avoid his fate. The green dreams don't lie!
Meera: Right. They are just wildly metaphoric and can be interpreted in multiple ways?
Jojan: Well yeah, I guess.
Bran: Wait... what is a "bellows" anyway?
Mikken: It's like one of those things that looks like an accordion that you use to blow air into a fire so that it gets hotter.
Bran: Oh, okay.
Alebelly then walks in. I can't remember if I've explained who Alebelly is before. He's just a fat, worthless guard who works here at Winterfell. All the first-tier guards and soldiers went south with Eddard first (and promptly died). Then the second-tier guards went south with Robb for the war. So alebelly is what Bran is left with.
Alebelly: Ah, here you are, Bran. We got a raven with a letter from your brother.
Bran: Sweet! Let me see it!
Alebelly: Well, the letter is back at Maester Luwin's place.
Bran: Cool. I guess you're going to carry me back there then.
Alebelly: Ugh.
But Alebelly carries him back anyway. Rickon is there, waiting. So are those two Frey kids.
Luwin: Okay kids, time to talk to you all about war!
Kids: YAY! WAR!
Luwin: Robb beat the shit out of the Lannister army at the Battle of Oxcross, killing the leader of the Lannisters there - Ser Stafford Lannister. He's also taken a bunch of castles and is now at Ashemark, the stronghold of House Marbrand.
Bran: Thanks for the plot exposition, Luwin!
Rickon: When are Robb and daddy coming home?
Bran: Hahaha, you fucking moron, Rickon. Daddy is dead.
Big Walder: Who gives a shit if Robb beat Stafford Lannister? Who the fuck is that even? It's like that character was made up this chapter just to die. Until Tywin Lannister is defeated... none of that matters.
Bran: As much as I hate these Frey kids, he's right.
Luwin: Well, there is also some terrible news I have to share about the war too. And I'm sorry to say this, Frey kids, but your uncle Ser Stevron Frey died in the battle.
Big Walder: Meh.
Little Walder: Yeah, who cares?
Luwin: Wow, that is some cold shit there. You kids should be ashamed.
Bran: Wow! That Frey guy dying really makes me sad. But the Frey kids don't seem to be that upset about it. This reminds me of the prophesy that Jojen made about the Frey kids enjoying their meat more than me. Jojen's prophesy must have been all metaphoric and the "meat" really meant "news."
Luwin: Holy shit, Bran. You really are stretching the premise of that prophesy a little thin.
Osha then shows up to take Bran away back to his room.
Bran: Hey Osha, do you know the way north? I want to go there.
Osha: Sure, you just follow the Ice Dragon!
Bran: WHOA! Is there really an Ice Dragon? Or is that just some constellation in the sky? You know, like how you find the little dipper constellation and it points to Polaris, the "North Star?"
Osha: Well, in this chapter it's not 100% specific, although the text of "The Sword Sword," a Dunk and Egg prequel story, strongly supports that I was implying the latter. As for whether there are Ice Dragons or not... we'll just have to wait and see.
Bran: But Viserion is an Ice Dragon in the TV show now, right?
Osha: The books are the books, and the show is the show. Let's just keep these things separate, okay?
Bran: I want to go north and meet the three-eyed crow!
Osha: I literally have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.
Osha sets him down and leaves.
Not long after, Meera shows up to his bedroom.
Bran: YES! Okay! Go ahead and take my pants off. You know I can't myself.
Then Jojen shows up, right behind her.
Bran: Awwwww! Damnit.
Jojen: Whoa, like, sorry for breaking into your room like this, man. I was just looking for my stash!
Bran: Oh hey - Jojen! That story you told me. The one about your green sight. It came true. Only it wasn't my supper. It was a letter from Robb.
Jojen: Yeah, man. When I smoke the whacky tobacky, it's hard to interpret my dreams, man. There are so many colors and things, man. Far out.
Bran: So how about you tell me another one of your dreams then? Since I've taken great lengths to interpret your vision about eating dinner to really mean reading a letter - I am now officially part of the cult of Jojen, and am willing to believe that anything you say is a true vision of the future.
Jojen: So, like, the last time I hit a blunt I dreamt about the sea, man. The sea rose up and flooded Winterfell. All these people died, man!
Bran: OH SHIT! Who?
Jojen: Alebelly, Septon Chayle, and Mikken. They all died, man. Sorry to break it to you, buddy.
Bran: OH SHIT! Your dreams always come true! After all -- you told me that I wouldn't enjoy my dinner and I didn't enjoy the contents of a letter. That's a PERFECT example of your 100% effective accuracy in dream interpretation! WE NEED TO WARN THEM!
Jojen: That won't save them, man. There is no way to save them. Now tell me about your dreams, man.
Bran: Well I have different dreams. Some of them are wolf dreams. I run around and kill squirrels and shit. Then there are the other dreams where the crow tells me to fly and fetch him corn. Then I just fall. I never used to fall. I used to feed the crows in the tower and I never once fell. But now I fall every time I have the crow dream. Sometimes there are other dreams when trees are talking to me. They call my name.
Jojen: Dude, those wolf dreams aren't dreams, man. They're REAL! You're a warg, Bran!
Bran: THE FUCK I AM! Old Nan would tell me stories about those creepers. I'm not one of them.
Jojen: It's true. People will hate you because they fear you. But it's only because they're fascists who don't understand you.
Bran: I don't want to be a warg! I want to be a knight!
Jojen: No way, man. You're, like, the winged wolf. You gotta learn to fly, brother. But you can't learn to fly unless you smoke so much doobie that your third eye opens.
Jojen then taps bran on the forehead, indicating where hid third eye is.
Jojen: It's your ajna, man. It's your charka. The gate that leads to the inner realms of higher consciousness.
Bran: You fucking hippies always get into Eastern Religion for some reason and I don't know why. Luwin says the dreams are just dreams and that's that.
Jojen: These dreams are more, man. They are the past. They are the present. They are the future, man. They are enlightenment. A deeper state of spiritual being. The third eye is the mind's eye.
And so they leave, with Bran totally freaked out by this crazy hippy shit. Bran tries to "open" his third eye, but has no luck. All he does is burst a blood vessel in his forehead and give himself a migraine.
For the next several days, Bran tries to warn everyone about Jojen's freaky hippy dream, but no one seems to believe him. Mikken laughs, and jokes that he always wanted to see the sea. Septon Chayle states the gods will take him when they do, and he does not think he will drown since he grew up on the banks of the White Knife.
Septon Chayle: Also, you have a library book due, Bran. Don't think that being a cripple who can't walk will get you out of the late fee. I am charging you for that shit. And why did you check out a book about Taoism anyway?
Bran tells Alebelly too. He's the only one who seems to believe Bran. So to avoid drowning, he refuses to take a bath and starts stinking really badly. Eventually the townspeople grab him and force him to shower because he's rank AF.
And hey, speaking of stinky people...
Ser Rodrik Cassel: Hey everyone! I'm back! And I have this hostage here. His name is "Reek."
Bran: Oh shit. You were gone?
Rodrick: Yes. Now let me tell you where I was. Remember all the shit about civil war that broke out here? With this bastard son of Roose Bolton kidnapping and marrying Lady Hornwood and then House Manderly sending an army to go attack him and the Boltons? Well, Lady Hornwood is dead now.
Bran: FUUUUUUCK! I wish I had respected her a little bit more in all those chapters rather than making fun of her. And I'm sorry for you too, Rod. Because I know you wanted to hit that.
Rodrick: Yeah. It was brutal. Anyway, this bastard kid, Ramsay Snow, chained up Lady Hornwood and starved her to death. All her fingers were eaten off and she apparently did it herself because she was so hungry. My forces tracked down this Ramsay Snow kid and shot him to death. So he's totally dead and we'll never hear about him again. Although I somewhat fear that his father, Lord Bolton, might still want to lay claim to the lands of House Hornwood. Lady Hornwood did sign a will that said Ramsay was the heir. Although she signed it under duress, so it should be invalid.
Bran: So what is up with this smelly Reek asshole then?
Rodrick: Ah, well he is Ramsay Snow's stank-ass, weird servant. We need to keep him alive as a witness. That way we can prove to Robb that Ramsay was a sick fuck that forced Lady Hornwood to sign the will before he murdered her. Then Robb will rule in favor of the House Manderly. Right now the Manderlys and the Boltons are still fighting over the land and my men weren't enough to stop it. So we just came back home to here.
Bran: Cool, that's nifty.
"Reek:" Yes, I am definitely "Reek." I'm not at all just Ramsay Snow in disguise, with the real Reek taking my place and getting shot instead. Mwahahaha!
Bran: Why would you say that?
Rodrick: So now we have another smelly asshole in this town. Speaking of which, Bran, why did you make it so that Alebelly wouldn't bathe again? I heard about that.
Bran: Ah, you see... [Bran explains the whole story about the green dreams and the drowning].
Rodrick: Hrm, sometimes I think you're fucking crazy, Bran.
Luwin: I told Bran that too. We have no risk of being drowned here in Winterfell. Unless, of course, we interpret Jojen Reed's dream as a metaphor. Then the water that fills Winterfell and drowns us could be symbolic of armies coming from the water and killing us. Which is totally plausible, considering the numerous reports we are hearing about people from the Iron Isles attacking our coastline and raiding all over the North.
Rodrick: Hrm. So should we believe that this drowning dream is a metaphor alluding to the exact thing you are describing as happening... and therefore look to double or triple our security?
Luwin: Nah.
Rodrick: I agree! "Nah" is the obvious and correct answer.
Bran meets with the Reeds later that night.
Bran: ...So... in conclusion, I talked with Luwin and Rodrick and they both said that nothing bad would happen. So I know your dream about Chayle, Alebelly and Mikken dying won't come true.
Meera: Maybe it's possible to for prophesies to not come true. Maybe the future can change. Maybe the future is what we make of it!
Jojen: No way, Meera. They're going to die, man. It's happening. Sorry to be such a bummer.
Meera: NO! Stop being a dick, Jojen. Bran and Alebelly can fight to avoid their fates!
Bran: Whoa, whoa, WHOAAAAAA! Bran? BRAN?! Why the fuck did you just mention my name for? Am I going to drown too?
Meera's face turns red as she revealed too much.
Meera: Errm... uhh... no... it's just that...
Jojen: --I, like, had another dream, Bran. Sorry, man. But I walked behind the 7 Eleven, man. And I scored this really good quality Durban Poison off of a dealer. This is great stuff, man. The purest sativa you can get, shipped in from South Africa. And after just one toke I had my dream, man. And I saw you dying, buddy! I saw it! You and your brother, Rickon.
Bran: WHAT?!
Jojen: Yeah, man. You know this new guy who showed up in town named "Reek?" Well, your dead bodies were laying in front of him. And he was, like, skinning off your faces with a blade.
Bran: FUCKING SICK, MAN. You are SICK!
Meera: This can't happen if Reek is dead, right? I say we go to the dungeons and kill him RIGHT NOW.
Jojen: Violence is never the answer, man! Make love, not war.
Meera: You're super annoying, Jojen.
Jojen: I've seen the future, Meera. You won't succeed. If you try, then the pigs will stop you. They'll never believe you, man. There is no way for Bran to avoid his fate. The green dreams don't lie!
Meera: Right. They are just wildly metaphoric and can be interpreted in multiple ways?
Jojan: Well yeah, I guess.
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