Catelyn is being guarded by a bunch of soliders under the command of Winterfell's captain of the guard, Hallis Mollen. She is fretting while Robb is getting ready to lead his small cavalry team (or as he calls them, "horseys") to attack Jaime Lannister in the Whispering Wood.
Why is Cat fretting so much? Well, despite the fact that Robb's army has gotten even stronger (recently the forces of the Mallisters joined, and many of the Tully forces that escaped earlier have met up and joined Robb) -- he is still outnumbered by the Lannisters, three-to-one.
Additionally, in order to sneakily attack the Lannisters, they had to split up their forces into three smaller groups. While this makes them faster and more able to do quick sneak attacks, it also leaves them more vulnerable if discovered. To avoid such discovery, Blackfish has been going out and continuing his campaign of killing all of Jaime's advance scouts.
Not to mention - the whole plan rests on Jaime Lannister taking the bait. Robb sent forward one group of 100 Tully men to the Whispering Woods, and allowed Jaime Lannister to find out about that group. If Jamie falls for it and attacks that group... he'll quickly be surrounded by the other hidden forces and captured. But will Jamie fall for it?
Robb: Okay my new contractually-required squire Frey, help me with that sword and shield.
Olyvar Frey: Yes, Lord Stark.
Robb: So, mom. It's been real and it's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. I'm off to go capture me Jaime Lannister. COME ON DOGGO, WITH ME!!!
Robb signals for Grey Wind to follow and they charge off.
And now Cat can do nothing but wait. Wait for a man to return to her. Something she's done her whole life. Because the oppressive patriarchy!
So she waits.
And waits.
And waits.
Until she hears the sound of battle in the distance. Screams. Metal colliding. Horses whinnying. Shouts.
Eventually Robb rides back and says hi to his mom.
Robb: Hi mom.
Cat: Holy shit, Robb! You're covered in blood and are riding a different horse than the one you rode off into battle with.
Robb: Yeah, about that... Chestnut is dead. Here, I have a gift for you though.
He nods to his men, and they throw a bag off of the back of the horse. They untie the bag and Jaime Lannister's head pops out.
Cat: OH SNAP, YOU DID IT!
Jamie gets out of the back and kneels before Cat.
Jaime: I'd hand you my sword, but I seem to have misplaced it.
Cat: I don't want your stupid sword. I want you to give me my husband and daughters!
Jaime: I seem to have misplaced those too.
Cat kicks him in his smug fucking face.
Cat: And could you also un-paralyze Bran while you're at it?
Theon: Let's cut off his head!
Robb: No! As tempting as that would be, the Kingslayer is worth more to us alive than dead. And my father told me that its dishonorable to kill prisoners.
Jaime: I know, right? Thank you!
Robb: Now put him back in the bag. And hit it the bag with a bunch of thick sticks. My dad never said that beating a prisoner in a bag with a bunch of big sticks was dishonorable.
And so his men do that.
Robb: Oh, and also make sure to keep Jaime away from Lord Karstark.
Cat: Why's that?
Robb: Ah, good question, mom... and perhaps I should provide a little more context. Do you see where Lord Karstark's sons Torrhen and Eddard are among the forces that rode back with me?
Cat looks around.
Cat: No.
Robb: That's because they didn't ride back with me. They're dead. Oh, here might be a little bit of Torrhen right here...
He picks some brain off of his surcoat.
Robb: And Daryn Hornwood is dead too. Which also sucks. Still... it's better than me being dead. And I almost was. Jaime charged right towards me. Lord Karstark's sons saved me... but at the cost of their own lives. And while their losses are terrible, overall it's a big win. We captured probably 100 nights and a dozen lord bannermen.
Cat: Yes son, but you have just won a battle... not the war!
Robb: BE A LITTLE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR SON, YOU BITCH! I WON A HUGE VICTORY AND I LITERALLY ALMOST DIED!
Cat: And while you may have taken the leader of these Lannister forces... the rest of them still besiege Riverrun. And let's not forget that this is the smaller part of the Lannister forces. Lord Tywin's army also needs to be defeated!
Robb: You know what, you negative Nancy, I'm just going to leave you right now and chill with my doggo since you're being a downer.
Grey Wolf: WOOF! [Translation: I love the taste of this human blood all over my fur].
Why is Cat fretting so much? Well, despite the fact that Robb's army has gotten even stronger (recently the forces of the Mallisters joined, and many of the Tully forces that escaped earlier have met up and joined Robb) -- he is still outnumbered by the Lannisters, three-to-one.
Additionally, in order to sneakily attack the Lannisters, they had to split up their forces into three smaller groups. While this makes them faster and more able to do quick sneak attacks, it also leaves them more vulnerable if discovered. To avoid such discovery, Blackfish has been going out and continuing his campaign of killing all of Jaime's advance scouts.
Not to mention - the whole plan rests on Jaime Lannister taking the bait. Robb sent forward one group of 100 Tully men to the Whispering Woods, and allowed Jaime Lannister to find out about that group. If Jamie falls for it and attacks that group... he'll quickly be surrounded by the other hidden forces and captured. But will Jamie fall for it?
Robb: Okay my new contractually-required squire Frey, help me with that sword and shield.
Olyvar Frey: Yes, Lord Stark.
Robb: So, mom. It's been real and it's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. I'm off to go capture me Jaime Lannister. COME ON DOGGO, WITH ME!!!
Robb signals for Grey Wind to follow and they charge off.
And now Cat can do nothing but wait. Wait for a man to return to her. Something she's done her whole life. Because the oppressive patriarchy!
So she waits.
And waits.
And waits.
Until she hears the sound of battle in the distance. Screams. Metal colliding. Horses whinnying. Shouts.
Eventually Robb rides back and says hi to his mom.
Robb: Hi mom.
Cat: Holy shit, Robb! You're covered in blood and are riding a different horse than the one you rode off into battle with.
Robb: Yeah, about that... Chestnut is dead. Here, I have a gift for you though.
He nods to his men, and they throw a bag off of the back of the horse. They untie the bag and Jaime Lannister's head pops out.
Cat: OH SNAP, YOU DID IT!
Jamie gets out of the back and kneels before Cat.
Jaime: I'd hand you my sword, but I seem to have misplaced it.
Cat: I don't want your stupid sword. I want you to give me my husband and daughters!
Jaime: I seem to have misplaced those too.
Cat kicks him in his smug fucking face.
Cat: And could you also un-paralyze Bran while you're at it?
Theon: Let's cut off his head!
Robb: No! As tempting as that would be, the Kingslayer is worth more to us alive than dead. And my father told me that its dishonorable to kill prisoners.
Jaime: I know, right? Thank you!
Robb: Now put him back in the bag. And hit it the bag with a bunch of thick sticks. My dad never said that beating a prisoner in a bag with a bunch of big sticks was dishonorable.
And so his men do that.
Robb: Oh, and also make sure to keep Jaime away from Lord Karstark.
Cat: Why's that?
Robb: Ah, good question, mom... and perhaps I should provide a little more context. Do you see where Lord Karstark's sons Torrhen and Eddard are among the forces that rode back with me?
Cat looks around.
Cat: No.
Robb: That's because they didn't ride back with me. They're dead. Oh, here might be a little bit of Torrhen right here...
He picks some brain off of his surcoat.
Robb: And Daryn Hornwood is dead too. Which also sucks. Still... it's better than me being dead. And I almost was. Jaime charged right towards me. Lord Karstark's sons saved me... but at the cost of their own lives. And while their losses are terrible, overall it's a big win. We captured probably 100 nights and a dozen lord bannermen.
Cat: Yes son, but you have just won a battle... not the war!
Robb: BE A LITTLE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR SON, YOU BITCH! I WON A HUGE VICTORY AND I LITERALLY ALMOST DIED!
Cat: And while you may have taken the leader of these Lannister forces... the rest of them still besiege Riverrun. And let's not forget that this is the smaller part of the Lannister forces. Lord Tywin's army also needs to be defeated!
Robb: You know what, you negative Nancy, I'm just going to leave you right now and chill with my doggo since you're being a downer.
Grey Wolf: WOOF! [Translation: I love the taste of this human blood all over my fur].
No comments:
Post a Comment