Bran is sitting on his stone window, looking out at the world, rather than being confined on his bed. Up on the window he feels free. Like he could fly. Like some crow or something. Specifically a three-eyed crow, if you get my gist. He also likes to hear the direwolves howl.
Bran: I wonder why they howl. I feel like they're trying to talk to me or something.
Bran previously asked people why wolves howl. These are the answers he got:
Shaggydog and Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: Honestly, Gage was right. We just want steak.]
Bran: Ah man. I can't sleep at all. So I'm just going to keep talking to myself and remembering shit. I remember how I used to love to walk and climb. That was the best. Now those towers over there mock me as I look at them... not being able to climb them. I'll never be a knight!
Luwin then comes into the room.
Luwin: Dude, SHUT UP WITH THE TALKING TO YOURSELF. It's like 1 in the morning. People are trying to sleep here. You're supposed to be asleep too.
Bran: I'm just talking to my wolves. See? *HOWWWWWLLLLL*
Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: Dude! I think Bran just said "All filthy wolves have sex with cars." He really needs to learn his direwolf language better or else he'll get beat up by wolves who don't know him like we do].
Luwin: You must sleep! Even princes must sleep.
Bran: Oh right. I'm a "prince" now because Robb is a "king."Still, I don't wanna. I turn into a wolf when I sleep.
Luwin: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Nobody turns into a wolf when they sleep. Well, except maybe greenseers and wargs, well known groups of people among the children of the forest who used to live here and who, according to some legends, the Stark family has deep blood kinship with. As part of the very religion we believe here in the north, and our connection to the weirwood trees, we instinctively believe that such greensight and warging is absolutely plausible. But beyond those facts, your idea is totally crazy and I stand by the concept that nobody wargs into wolves when they sleep.
Bran: Do wolves dream?
Luwin: I dunno. Probably. About eating rabbits and shit?
Bran: Do the dead dream?
Luwin: Some think so, but the dead are silent on the matter.
Bran: Hahaha, that line is so good we don't even need to make some sort of joke there. We can just straight up take it from the book. Okay, next one... can trees dream?
Luwin: Fuck no.
Bran: I think you're wrong. I have tree dreams too sometimes. I don't like those dreams that much. I'm always getting cut down or having my delicious maple syrup drained from my body. I like the wolf dreams much more. I can smell and taste blood in those dreams. It is decidedly metal.
Luwin: You are super weird, kid. You need to spend time with other children and stop going through this goth phase.
Bran: I hate other children. Especially those two Walder Frey kids that came here. I want them to go away!
Luwin: They can't go away. Your mother, who is a terrible negotiator, made a deal with Walder Frey and they have to live here now as part of the deal. You should try to learn to like them. You need friends.
Bran: The only friend I need is Summer. When I play "Lord of the Crossing" with those shitty Freys and the Freys try to be douches, Summer always protects me and tries to eat the fuck out of them. It's cool.
Luwin: Those wolves are getting big and dangerous. Don't you remember that it was in this very room that Summer ripped a man's throat out? How could you forget... the blood stain is still here on the carpet! See? That shit will NEVER come out! Even soap from Paper Street Soap Co. won't clean it out, and Paper Street Soap works great on blood stains.
Bran: Are we doing Fight Club jokes now? Is that how low this blog is sinking for content now?
Luwin: Don't explain the joke, Bran. Explaining the joke makes it not funny. You need to shape the hell up and act like a responsible eight year-old boy.
Bran: I don't want to be a responsible eight year-old boy. I want to be a wolf! *HOOOWWWWLLL*
Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: That time Bran just said "Go to the jungle and sail." He is really struggling with his direwolf].
Luwin: Bran, please calm down and--
Bran: *HOWWWLLLL* [Translation: "Brown cheese, but after his death, he died."]
Luwin: Okay, I'm just going to leave then, shithead.
He leaves.
Alone, Bran then thinks intensely about the specific rules of the previously mentioned "Lord of the Crossing" game. It's complicated and irrelevant, so just disregard it and pretend they are playing "Battleship" instead because I don't have to explain that.
He played the game with the two Frey boys, who are both named "Walder." Every Frey is named "Walder" because all the Freys hope that naming their kid "Walder" will mean that old man Walder, when he eventually dies, will pass on everything to them. Even the Freys who have girls name them "Walda." The two Walders in Winterfell are especially annoying though because one is called "Big Walder" and the other is called "Little Walder." Only the big one is actually littler. He used to be bigger back when he got the nickname because he was older, but then the younger one gout super fat.
Luwin: -SIKE! I'm back again, Bran!
Bran: Damnit, I thought you were leaving and I could brood alone.
Luwin: No, I've come back with Osha and some character named Heyhead who will be mentioned one more time before never being seen again in the books. Ive also come with some percocet. Pop a few of these bad boys and you'll be out like a light.
Bran: Sweet.
Bran takes the opiods and soon falls asleep. But he doesn't drift off into darkness. Instead, he goes into the body of Summer.
Bran/Summer: HOLY SHIT! I think I just quantum leaped!
Bran/Summer wants to go out to hunt and kill animals and eat their warm, raw flesh. It would be so delicious. He also dreams of his family - Grey Wind, Ghost and Nymeria... they seem so far away. Lady seems lost... lost and gone forever like his mother. Bran/Summer wants to howl.
Bran/Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: The world has tightened around us, Shaggydog. But beyond the wall still stands Winterfell, and beyond that the true world calls me, and I knows I must answer... answer, or die!]
Shaggydog: *woof* [Translation: Summer, you get super cryptic whenever Bran is Jadzia Dax'ing into you.]
Bran: I wonder why they howl. I feel like they're trying to talk to me or something.
Bran previously asked people why wolves howl. These are the answers he got:
Ser Rodrick: How the fuck would I know?
Farlen the Kennelmaster: They cry for freedom. The deep blue sea. Oh no wait, those are sharks I'm thinking of.
Gage the Cook: They want steak.
Luwin: Uhh... I'm sure it's for different reasons at different times. Right now I think they're howling at that damn red comet because they think it's the moon.But that answer really made Bran just more interested in the red comet. So instead of asking why his wolves howl, he started asking people what the hell this red comet thing was all about.
Osha: Luwin told you WHAT?! Those wolves have more sense than him. The comet represents blood and fire, boy, and nothing sweet!Bran: Ohmygawd this comet joke is wearing soooooooo thin. Anyway, I love those wolves though. Shaggydog is locked up in a special pen though, because he tore the shit out of one of those Frey kids that was sent up to live with us here in Winterfell. I hate those Frey kids. They're such little dicks. Still, I think all their theories about why the wolves howl are wrong. They howeled that night my dad died. They seemed to know. Are they howling now because they know something else? Has one of my sisters died? God, if so... I hope it's Sansa.
Septon Chayle: The comet represents the sword that slays the season and the end of summer. It also represents that people need to start RETURNING MY GODDAMN LIBRARY BOOKS!
Old Nan: I'm too old and blind to see the comet myself. But the comet represents the coming of dragons!
Hodor: Why, this is a quite thought-provoking and striking query that you present before me, my fledgling little Brandon. I have heard the hypotheses that Osha, Chayle and Nan prepossessed before you and I find them all with some various level of merit. Of course, all hypotheses should be tested according to the scientific method to see if data or facts can be used to prove them. Alas, this is a tough one to come to any conclusions on. And the theories put forward by my fine, fellow residents of Winterfell are not the only theories out there. For I have heard many more other hypotheses out there. There is a rumor that many people in King Landing call it "Joffrey's comet," in celebration of the new king. Other theories include that it has to do with the Lord of Light and is a signal that Stannis is a re-birthed form of the legendary "Prince that was Promised" and should attack King's Landing; some of your relatives might also be keen to believe it is a sign about your father's death, or that it represents the victories of the Northmen and house Tully against the Lannister forces; or a sign to a specific girl in Essos that she should light a fire to burn her husband's corpse and see if she can walk into the same fire unscathed while a a bunch of old dragon eggs hatch; a signals for a pathway through the great waste of Essos as a mystical sign to go to Qarth; a herald warning of a coming war; a message that the kingdom is full of corruption that will soon be purified; a symbol of a torch related to the Lord Commander of Castle Black; or a message from the drowned god.
Shaggydog and Summer: *HOWL!* [Translation: It could simply be an icy, small body rotating around our sun due to gravitational force. And when passing close to the sun, it warms and begins to release gases in a process called "outgassing." This produces a visible atmosphere or "coma," and ofttimes also a tail. These phenomena are due to the effects of solar radiation and the solar wind acting upon the nucleus of the comet.]
Shaggydog and Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: Honestly, Gage was right. We just want steak.]
Bran: Ah man. I can't sleep at all. So I'm just going to keep talking to myself and remembering shit. I remember how I used to love to walk and climb. That was the best. Now those towers over there mock me as I look at them... not being able to climb them. I'll never be a knight!
Luwin then comes into the room.
Luwin: Dude, SHUT UP WITH THE TALKING TO YOURSELF. It's like 1 in the morning. People are trying to sleep here. You're supposed to be asleep too.
Bran: I'm just talking to my wolves. See? *HOWWWWWLLLLL*
Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: Dude! I think Bran just said "All filthy wolves have sex with cars." He really needs to learn his direwolf language better or else he'll get beat up by wolves who don't know him like we do].
Luwin: You must sleep! Even princes must sleep.
Bran: Oh right. I'm a "prince" now because Robb is a "king."Still, I don't wanna. I turn into a wolf when I sleep.
Luwin: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Nobody turns into a wolf when they sleep. Well, except maybe greenseers and wargs, well known groups of people among the children of the forest who used to live here and who, according to some legends, the Stark family has deep blood kinship with. As part of the very religion we believe here in the north, and our connection to the weirwood trees, we instinctively believe that such greensight and warging is absolutely plausible. But beyond those facts, your idea is totally crazy and I stand by the concept that nobody wargs into wolves when they sleep.
Bran: Do wolves dream?
Luwin: I dunno. Probably. About eating rabbits and shit?
Bran: Do the dead dream?
Luwin: Some think so, but the dead are silent on the matter.
Bran: Hahaha, that line is so good we don't even need to make some sort of joke there. We can just straight up take it from the book. Okay, next one... can trees dream?
Luwin: Fuck no.
Bran: I think you're wrong. I have tree dreams too sometimes. I don't like those dreams that much. I'm always getting cut down or having my delicious maple syrup drained from my body. I like the wolf dreams much more. I can smell and taste blood in those dreams. It is decidedly metal.
Luwin: You are super weird, kid. You need to spend time with other children and stop going through this goth phase.
Bran: I hate other children. Especially those two Walder Frey kids that came here. I want them to go away!
Luwin: They can't go away. Your mother, who is a terrible negotiator, made a deal with Walder Frey and they have to live here now as part of the deal. You should try to learn to like them. You need friends.
Bran: The only friend I need is Summer. When I play "Lord of the Crossing" with those shitty Freys and the Freys try to be douches, Summer always protects me and tries to eat the fuck out of them. It's cool.
Luwin: Those wolves are getting big and dangerous. Don't you remember that it was in this very room that Summer ripped a man's throat out? How could you forget... the blood stain is still here on the carpet! See? That shit will NEVER come out! Even soap from Paper Street Soap Co. won't clean it out, and Paper Street Soap works great on blood stains.
Bran: Are we doing Fight Club jokes now? Is that how low this blog is sinking for content now?
Luwin: Don't explain the joke, Bran. Explaining the joke makes it not funny. You need to shape the hell up and act like a responsible eight year-old boy.
Bran: I don't want to be a responsible eight year-old boy. I want to be a wolf! *HOOOWWWWLLL*
Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: That time Bran just said "Go to the jungle and sail." He is really struggling with his direwolf].
Luwin: Bran, please calm down and--
Bran: *HOWWWLLLL* [Translation: "Brown cheese, but after his death, he died."]
Luwin: Okay, I'm just going to leave then, shithead.
He leaves.
Alone, Bran then thinks intensely about the specific rules of the previously mentioned "Lord of the Crossing" game. It's complicated and irrelevant, so just disregard it and pretend they are playing "Battleship" instead because I don't have to explain that.
He played the game with the two Frey boys, who are both named "Walder." Every Frey is named "Walder" because all the Freys hope that naming their kid "Walder" will mean that old man Walder, when he eventually dies, will pass on everything to them. Even the Freys who have girls name them "Walda." The two Walders in Winterfell are especially annoying though because one is called "Big Walder" and the other is called "Little Walder." Only the big one is actually littler. He used to be bigger back when he got the nickname because he was older, but then the younger one gout super fat.
Luwin: -SIKE! I'm back again, Bran!
Bran: Damnit, I thought you were leaving and I could brood alone.
Luwin: No, I've come back with Osha and some character named Heyhead who will be mentioned one more time before never being seen again in the books. Ive also come with some percocet. Pop a few of these bad boys and you'll be out like a light.
Bran: Sweet.
Bran takes the opiods and soon falls asleep. But he doesn't drift off into darkness. Instead, he goes into the body of Summer.
Bran/Summer: HOLY SHIT! I think I just quantum leaped!
Bran/Summer wants to go out to hunt and kill animals and eat their warm, raw flesh. It would be so delicious. He also dreams of his family - Grey Wind, Ghost and Nymeria... they seem so far away. Lady seems lost... lost and gone forever like his mother. Bran/Summer wants to howl.
Bran/Summer: *HOWL* [Translation: The world has tightened around us, Shaggydog. But beyond the wall still stands Winterfell, and beyond that the true world calls me, and I knows I must answer... answer, or die!]
Shaggydog: *woof* [Translation: Summer, you get super cryptic whenever Bran is Jadzia Dax'ing into you.]
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