ASoS 75: Samwell IV

Sam watches Jon give a half-smile at Gilly,as she’s nursing Mance Rayder’s newborn son. Why isn’t the child’s mother, Dalla, nursing her boy?

Val: BECAUSE SHE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH, JUST LIKE I SAID SHE WOULD!

Jon: *sigh* Okay, okay. You called it. Geez, I’m sorry.

Now get ready for a lot more flashback / in media res shit!

Sam and Gilly, who we last saw at the Nightfort, walked all the way to the Queensgate. There they had been jpined by Denys Mallister, Bowen Marsh, Giant, Dolorous Edd, Dywen, and maybe some other characters I’m forgetting.  They were all pretty surprised that his fat, incompetent ass was still alive.

They told Sam everything that had happened recently… you know… all this shit that we just skipped over between two chapters ago and now. Stannis’s battle against the Wildlings. Mance was taken captive and Stannis decided to set up shop in Castle Black, taking residence inside of one of the towers.

From there Sam went to Castle Black, and met up with Pyp, Grenn and the others. They told him all about Stannis’s flaming banner and the “Red Witch.”  Sam also learned about Jon. Even though Jon captured the Horn of Winter and Mance’s son, this new Janos Slynt asshole and Alliser Thorne has declared that he was still a traitor.

Sam: There. Am I all caught up yet?

Val: No. You missed the part about me telling you that the Red Witch wants to give Mance to the fire because he has “King’s Blood.”

Sam: Oh, right.

Jon: Well, I mean he is a Night’s Watch deserter. Which means he is supposed to be hanged by us anyway.

Sam: Right. Because people who break their vows deserve to be executed.

Jon: Yeah, ri---ohhhhh, I see what you did there, Sam. Good one. *sigh*

Sam can tell that Jon misses Ygritte.

Jon: And don’t be acting like you ain’t mackin’ yourself, Sam. I see you and Gilly.

Sam: I… umm… err…

Jon: You know you can’t keep her, right? She’s not a pet. And girls aren’t allowed here.

Sam: Well, uhh… maybe I can claim that the baby is mine. And send her and the kid off to Horn Hill for my mom to raise. My dad might even respect me a little if he think I got laid.

Jon: Hrm. Maybe. Maybe.

Val: Hey, not to interrupit this stirring conversation, but while we’re on the topic of babies… can I at least show Mance his son before he’s executed?

Jon: I dunno. Apparently Stannis wants to see me. I guess I can ask. But no promises. He probably wants me executed or something.

Sam: No way, Jon! Only Thorne and his stupid cronies believe that you’re a turncloak. Everyone else knows you’re the true hero that helped to save and defend the Wall. Stannis will listen to you.

Jon: Thorne is of noble birth. And I’m just some warg that dreams of jumping into my wolf’s body. Not that I do that anymore. I haven’t seen Ghost in so long. *sigh* He’s probably gone forever.  All I dream of now is the crypts below Winterfell.

Speaking of the crypts below Winterfell… that’s where Bran was hiding when Winterfell burned. Sam desperately wanted to tell Jon all about Bran still being alive. But he can’t. He swore an oath to that Coldhands guy that he would never tell. And so he must keep that oath.

Jon: Anyway… it doesn’t matter what Stannis believes in the end. The Night’s Watch is independent of the wars of the Seven Kingdoms. The new Lord Commander will decide my fate. And that new Lord Commander will likely be Slynt.

Sam: No way! People hate him.

Jon: Yeah… well… he’s still going to win it.

And with that, they part ways. Jon goes to train new recruits while he awaits whatever is supposed to happen to him next. A meeting with Stannis? An execution? Whatever.

Sam goes off to the maester’s keep to help with the wounded, and then goes to the rookery to feed the ravens.

Raven: *squawk* We’re useful plot devices *squawk*

Sam: Hrm. Yes. You ravens are useful plot devices, aren’t you? I’ll have to remember that in the very near future.

As he’s doing his duties, Sam thinks that either Denys Mallister or Cotter Pyke will win the election as the next Lord Commander. But then he remembers that both have been LOSING votes in the last several rounds of voting, while Slynt has been gaining. But none of them have enough votes to win.

At dinner that night…

Pyp: Haha, of COURSE there is going to be a dinner scene with Sam!

Grenn: Yeah, because he’s fat!

Sam: Shut up, you two.

Sam looks across the dining hall and sees that Slynt has been given a better and more central seat at the big-wig dining table than either Mallister or Pyke.

Pyp: Hey, look over there. Thorne is talking to Othell Yarwyck. I bet he’s trying to buy some more votes for Slynt.

Bowen Marsh then stands up.

Marsh: I withdraw my name from the candidacy for Lord Commander, and recommend that everybody that was voting for me instead vote for Janos Slynt!

Sam: Ugh. That’s the worst.

And so a new ballot is taken. Sam and Clydas help Master Aemon count the votes.

Aemon: Okay… okay… so in first place we have… MALLISTER!

Slynt: DAMNIT!

But as Aemon reads the vote tallies, it’s clear that Mallister doesn’t have enough points to secure a majority. And Slynt has still been gaining votes. That means another round of voting will be required the next day.

Sam: Mallsiter and Pyke have nearly two thirds of the votes between them. If one or the other were to drop out and endorse the other… then that person would win and Slynt would lose. But if they BOTH stay in… their votes will continue to erode away and Slynt will wind up taking this whole thing. Someone needs to convince one of them to drop out!

Pyp: Someone, huh?

Sam: Yeah!

Pyp: Well it’s your idea, asshole. Good luck.

Sam: No! Wait… I don’t mean me! I mean… uhh… SHIT!!!