Brienne is having fever dreams, thinking about all the death and killing she has seen recently. She fades in and out of consciousness, vaguely sensing the fact that she’s been tied up and carried away on a horse.
She comes to, and sees two people. First – it’s Renly.
Brienne: Renly?
Gendry: DAMNIT! Stop calling me that.
Brienne: Oh… sorry.. sorry… I… ow… why does it hurt so much?
Girl: Well, half of your face has been eaten off by a cannibal.
Brienne: Oh shit. Ugh.
Girl: Here, have some of this. It will help with the pain.
The girl gives her a bowl of… uhh… chicken soup or something. And some bread. Tylenol doesn’t really exist here.
Brienne: Thank you, girl. And who are you?
Girl: Jeyne Heddle.
Brienne: And… Biter… is he—?
Jeyne: —Dead? Yes. Gendry killed him.
Brienne: Where are you taking me?
Gendry: To m’lady. Stoneheart, that is. To answer for your crimes.
Brienne: My… crimes? What crimes do you speak o… uhh…uuhhh….
She passes out again. Once more she returns to her fever dreams. She opens her eyes for a moment and sees the Hound’s helm. She imagines that the Hound is alive again.
Brienne: THE HOUND! Oh no! You’re supposed to be dead!
“The Hound:” Me? Dead? Hahaha. No, it’s you’ll who be dead soon. After we hang you.
Brienne: H-hang me? But this girl just gave me soup and bread. You can’t kill me.
Jeyne: Yeah, guest rights don’t really mean what they used to ever since Lady Stoneheart came back from the wedding.
Brienne: Huh? Wedding? What wedding? Who is this Lady Stoneh… Stone… Sto…
She passes out again.
When she wakes up once more, she is inside of a cave. She’s also been stripped of her armor and weapons.
An old man comes up to her and treats her wounds. Her sight is blurry, so she can’t really see him.
Brienne: Th-thank you, ser. Is it bad?
Old Man: Is it bad? Yeesh. Yeah. There will be scars, for sure. It’s what happens when half of your cheek is eaten off. Still, I guess we're going to hang you. So you won't have the scar for long.
Brienne: I… I am still to be killed?
Old Man: Probably, but that is not for me to decide.
Brienne: Why bother treating my wounds if your gang only means to kill me?
Old Man: You deserve at least some good treatment for your deeds back at the Crossroads Inn. Your actions there likely saved everyone. Perhaps that will count for something with Lady Stoneheart, despite what you have previously done.
Brienne: What I have previously done?! And what is THAT?! Wait… wait just a second…
Her eyesight begins to clear up. She recognizes him.
Brienne: Thoros of Myr?
Thoros: The one and only.
Brienne: You’ve lost some weight. And hair.
Thoros: Aye, and other things.
Brienne: I had heard you were with Lord Beric, not Lady Stoneheart.
Thoros: Alas, Lord Beric is gone now. Have you heard all those stories about his immortal resurrection powers?
Brienne: Uhh… yeah. Sounded like bullshit to me.
Thoros: Well, it wasn’t. I could totally resurrect him, over and over. But his fire has gone out from the world now, and a grimmer shadow leads us.
Brienne: Where are my companions? Meribald. Podrick.
Thoros: Septon Meribald we let go, as he is an innocent man. But your two companions, the boy and Hyle Hunt… they are nearby, awaiting the same judgment that you will.
Brienne: Hunt? Ah, that guy wasn’t really with me. You can do anything you want with him. But the boy is innocent. Just a young squire.
Thoros: Aye, a squire for Tyrion Lannister. As you recall, the Lannisters are our enemies.
Brienne: I beg for mercy for him!
Thoros: Ah, mercy. There is short supply of that around here these days, I am afraid.
Brienne: What about justice?
Thoros: That too. You know, we used to be all about justice. We were a rag-tag group of Robin Hoods out here, defening the smallfolk from all sides of this cruel war. Yet it seems this war has made us cruel now too. The Brotherhood without Banners is less in the “justice” business now, and more in the “revenge” business.
Others arrive too, including some dumb asshole in a yellow cloak. He probably has a really dumb name too.
Lem Lemoncloak: HEY! That’s not cool, narrator.
Brienne: The HOUND!
Lem: No. I’m just Lem, wearing The Hound’s helm.
Thoros: It is an evil thing to wear, Lem. Think of all the past monsters who have worn it. Take it off and get rid of it. Have Gendry melt it into something else.
Lem: No way. It’s a perfectly good helm. I think it’s cool. I’m keeping it. Now come on, Kingslayer’s whore. Stoneheart wants to see you. Now.
Brienne: Kingslayer’s whore? What are you talking about.
Lem: Oh please. The number of times you called out Jaime’s name while you were dozing in and out of your fever dreams was insane. You’re clearly obsessed, woman. And that’s not to mention the sword and the papers you had.
And they pick her up and bring her to another room in the caves. There a woman sits in the shadows.
Harwin: Here is the Kingslayer’s Whore. And this is her sword, as well as the letter signed by King Tommen.
He pulls out Oathkeeper, the sword that Jaime gave her. On its pommel is the head of a lion.
Brienne: I can explain that. That does not mean I am loyal to the Lannisters. Jaime Lannister gave me that sword, to help me fulfil an oath he swore to Lady Catelyn Stark.
Lady Stoneheart makes a cackling noise that the others in the Brotherhood seem to understand, but Brienne does not.
Brienne: Huh?
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart cares not of your oaths to Lannisters. She asks of your betrayals to the Starks.
Brienne: I did not betray the Strarks! Lady Stark sent to King’s Landing to exchange Jaime for her daughters, Sansa and Arya. But by the time Jaime and I arrived, the two were already gone. And so was Lady Stark, alas. We received word that she was murdered by the Freys. Jaime stayed behind in Kings Landing, but sent me out with this sword, commanding me to find the girls.
Lem: To find the girls and bring them back to King’s Landing? To be the pets of Cersei Lannister?
Brienne: NO! Never. To bring them to safety. Look, I know that none of you are going to believe me, but it’s the truth! Jaime never told Cersei about any of this.
Jack Be Lucky: Nowhere is safe anymore. You should be hanged.
Lem: And who would actually believe that Jaime would keep a secret from Cersei?
Lady Stoneheart gurgles some more, and the other prisoners are brought out – Pod and Hyle. Hyle has totally had the shit beaten out of him.
Brienne: Whatever treachery you are accusing me of, those two had nothing to do with it. They are innocents. Free them!
Jack Be Lucky: You are all lions and should all die.
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says that this blade looks… familiar… for some reason. What is its name?
Brienne: It is called “Oathkeeper.”
Lady Stoneheat: *HISSSSSSSS*
Brienne: Wow. Really. Like a cat?
Hehe. Get it? Cat?
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says, “More like ‘Oathbreaker, you bitch. Or maybe ‘False Friend.’”
Brienne: To whom have I been false?
Harwin: To her. Have you forgotten that you once swore an oath to HER, not to Jaime.
Brienne: To her? What are you talking abou—
The woman steps out from the shadows and pulls off her good. Brienne sees the rotten, broken face of Lady Catelyn Stark.
Brienne: OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!
Jeyne: Guest rights AND death don’t mean what they used to.
Brienne: This… this… is impossible!
Thoros: Lady Stark had been dead three days when her body washed up. Lord Beric gave her the kiss of life, which in turn he surrendered his own. Now Lady Stark, reborn as Stoneheart, leads us.
Brienne: Lady Cat, I SWEAR I did not betray you. I never betrayed you! I… I was looking through the countryside. Trying to find your girls. Trying to fulfil the oath to protect them that you sent me on. Jaime… he…he… he continued that oath as well. He is not the man you think him to be. Or, at least, he is not anymore. On the road… horrible things happened to us. He protected us from rape and murder. It cost him a hand. He… he has some nobility in him. Some honor. He wanted your girls safe too. He was just as disgusted as I when he heard of what happened at the Red Wedding. He had no part in that.
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says you have a choice. Be her sword and kill Jaime… or hang.
Brienne: I… I cannot make that choice!
Jack Be Lucky: Oh sweet, I guess it’s hanging time then!
Lem: YEP!
They grab the ropes and string all three up.
Brienne: Please! No! Let the boy go free! Podrick is innocent!
Harwin: You had your opportunity to save them and save yourself. Lady Stoneheart gave you a choice. Sword or death.
Brienne: I told you, I cannot make that cho—
—And they kick the chairs from under the three.
Brienne, Hyle and Pod all begin hanging.
Brienne then screams a word.
Yep. That’s all you’re getting. “A word.” What word? What does it mean? No idea. But she’s alive in the next book, so it was probably something like, “sword” as in “I will be your sword and kill Jaime.” But it could have been “rutabaga” honestly. No clue. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
She comes to, and sees two people. First – it’s Renly.
Brienne: Renly?
Gendry: DAMNIT! Stop calling me that.
Brienne: Oh… sorry.. sorry… I… ow… why does it hurt so much?
Girl: Well, half of your face has been eaten off by a cannibal.
Brienne: Oh shit. Ugh.
Girl: Here, have some of this. It will help with the pain.
The girl gives her a bowl of… uhh… chicken soup or something. And some bread. Tylenol doesn’t really exist here.
Brienne: Thank you, girl. And who are you?
Girl: Jeyne Heddle.
Brienne: And… Biter… is he—?
Jeyne: —Dead? Yes. Gendry killed him.
Brienne: Where are you taking me?
Gendry: To m’lady. Stoneheart, that is. To answer for your crimes.
Brienne: My… crimes? What crimes do you speak o… uhh…uuhhh….
She passes out again. Once more she returns to her fever dreams. She opens her eyes for a moment and sees the Hound’s helm. She imagines that the Hound is alive again.
Brienne: THE HOUND! Oh no! You’re supposed to be dead!
“The Hound:” Me? Dead? Hahaha. No, it’s you’ll who be dead soon. After we hang you.
Brienne: H-hang me? But this girl just gave me soup and bread. You can’t kill me.
Jeyne: Yeah, guest rights don’t really mean what they used to ever since Lady Stoneheart came back from the wedding.
Brienne: Huh? Wedding? What wedding? Who is this Lady Stoneh… Stone… Sto…
She passes out again.
When she wakes up once more, she is inside of a cave. She’s also been stripped of her armor and weapons.
An old man comes up to her and treats her wounds. Her sight is blurry, so she can’t really see him.
Brienne: Th-thank you, ser. Is it bad?
Old Man: Is it bad? Yeesh. Yeah. There will be scars, for sure. It’s what happens when half of your cheek is eaten off. Still, I guess we're going to hang you. So you won't have the scar for long.
Brienne: I… I am still to be killed?
Old Man: Probably, but that is not for me to decide.
Brienne: Why bother treating my wounds if your gang only means to kill me?
Old Man: You deserve at least some good treatment for your deeds back at the Crossroads Inn. Your actions there likely saved everyone. Perhaps that will count for something with Lady Stoneheart, despite what you have previously done.
Brienne: What I have previously done?! And what is THAT?! Wait… wait just a second…
Her eyesight begins to clear up. She recognizes him.
Brienne: Thoros of Myr?
Thoros: The one and only.
Brienne: You’ve lost some weight. And hair.
Thoros: Aye, and other things.
Brienne: I had heard you were with Lord Beric, not Lady Stoneheart.
Thoros: Alas, Lord Beric is gone now. Have you heard all those stories about his immortal resurrection powers?
Brienne: Uhh… yeah. Sounded like bullshit to me.
Thoros: Well, it wasn’t. I could totally resurrect him, over and over. But his fire has gone out from the world now, and a grimmer shadow leads us.
Brienne: Where are my companions? Meribald. Podrick.
Thoros: Septon Meribald we let go, as he is an innocent man. But your two companions, the boy and Hyle Hunt… they are nearby, awaiting the same judgment that you will.
Brienne: Hunt? Ah, that guy wasn’t really with me. You can do anything you want with him. But the boy is innocent. Just a young squire.
Thoros: Aye, a squire for Tyrion Lannister. As you recall, the Lannisters are our enemies.
Brienne: I beg for mercy for him!
Thoros: Ah, mercy. There is short supply of that around here these days, I am afraid.
Brienne: What about justice?
Thoros: That too. You know, we used to be all about justice. We were a rag-tag group of Robin Hoods out here, defening the smallfolk from all sides of this cruel war. Yet it seems this war has made us cruel now too. The Brotherhood without Banners is less in the “justice” business now, and more in the “revenge” business.
Others arrive too, including some dumb asshole in a yellow cloak. He probably has a really dumb name too.
Lem Lemoncloak: HEY! That’s not cool, narrator.
Brienne: The HOUND!
Lem: No. I’m just Lem, wearing The Hound’s helm.
Thoros: It is an evil thing to wear, Lem. Think of all the past monsters who have worn it. Take it off and get rid of it. Have Gendry melt it into something else.
Lem: No way. It’s a perfectly good helm. I think it’s cool. I’m keeping it. Now come on, Kingslayer’s whore. Stoneheart wants to see you. Now.
Brienne: Kingslayer’s whore? What are you talking about.
Lem: Oh please. The number of times you called out Jaime’s name while you were dozing in and out of your fever dreams was insane. You’re clearly obsessed, woman. And that’s not to mention the sword and the papers you had.
And they pick her up and bring her to another room in the caves. There a woman sits in the shadows.
Harwin: Here is the Kingslayer’s Whore. And this is her sword, as well as the letter signed by King Tommen.
He pulls out Oathkeeper, the sword that Jaime gave her. On its pommel is the head of a lion.
Brienne: I can explain that. That does not mean I am loyal to the Lannisters. Jaime Lannister gave me that sword, to help me fulfil an oath he swore to Lady Catelyn Stark.
Lady Stoneheart makes a cackling noise that the others in the Brotherhood seem to understand, but Brienne does not.
Brienne: Huh?
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart cares not of your oaths to Lannisters. She asks of your betrayals to the Starks.
Brienne: I did not betray the Strarks! Lady Stark sent to King’s Landing to exchange Jaime for her daughters, Sansa and Arya. But by the time Jaime and I arrived, the two were already gone. And so was Lady Stark, alas. We received word that she was murdered by the Freys. Jaime stayed behind in Kings Landing, but sent me out with this sword, commanding me to find the girls.
Lem: To find the girls and bring them back to King’s Landing? To be the pets of Cersei Lannister?
Brienne: NO! Never. To bring them to safety. Look, I know that none of you are going to believe me, but it’s the truth! Jaime never told Cersei about any of this.
Jack Be Lucky: Nowhere is safe anymore. You should be hanged.
Lem: And who would actually believe that Jaime would keep a secret from Cersei?
Lady Stoneheart gurgles some more, and the other prisoners are brought out – Pod and Hyle. Hyle has totally had the shit beaten out of him.
Brienne: Whatever treachery you are accusing me of, those two had nothing to do with it. They are innocents. Free them!
Jack Be Lucky: You are all lions and should all die.
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says that this blade looks… familiar… for some reason. What is its name?
Brienne: It is called “Oathkeeper.”
Lady Stoneheat: *HISSSSSSSS*
Brienne: Wow. Really. Like a cat?
Hehe. Get it? Cat?
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says, “More like ‘Oathbreaker, you bitch. Or maybe ‘False Friend.’”
Brienne: To whom have I been false?
Harwin: To her. Have you forgotten that you once swore an oath to HER, not to Jaime.
Brienne: To her? What are you talking abou—
The woman steps out from the shadows and pulls off her good. Brienne sees the rotten, broken face of Lady Catelyn Stark.
Brienne: OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!
Jeyne: Guest rights AND death don’t mean what they used to.
Brienne: This… this… is impossible!
Thoros: Lady Stark had been dead three days when her body washed up. Lord Beric gave her the kiss of life, which in turn he surrendered his own. Now Lady Stark, reborn as Stoneheart, leads us.
Brienne: Lady Cat, I SWEAR I did not betray you. I never betrayed you! I… I was looking through the countryside. Trying to find your girls. Trying to fulfil the oath to protect them that you sent me on. Jaime… he…he… he continued that oath as well. He is not the man you think him to be. Or, at least, he is not anymore. On the road… horrible things happened to us. He protected us from rape and murder. It cost him a hand. He… he has some nobility in him. Some honor. He wanted your girls safe too. He was just as disgusted as I when he heard of what happened at the Red Wedding. He had no part in that.
Lady Stoneheart: *gurgle*gargle*
Harwin: Lady Stoneheart says you have a choice. Be her sword and kill Jaime… or hang.
Brienne: I… I cannot make that choice!
Jack Be Lucky: Oh sweet, I guess it’s hanging time then!
Lem: YEP!
They grab the ropes and string all three up.
Brienne: Please! No! Let the boy go free! Podrick is innocent!
Harwin: You had your opportunity to save them and save yourself. Lady Stoneheart gave you a choice. Sword or death.
Brienne: I told you, I cannot make that cho—
—And they kick the chairs from under the three.
Brienne, Hyle and Pod all begin hanging.
Brienne then screams a word.
Yep. That’s all you’re getting. “A word.” What word? What does it mean? No idea. But she’s alive in the next book, so it was probably something like, “sword” as in “I will be your sword and kill Jaime.” But it could have been “rutabaga” honestly. No clue. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
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