Tyrion is now on the road with Illyrio, travelling in secret from Pentos to the Rhoyne river.
Tyrion: Please, provide a little more explanation as to why we are going there.
Illyrio: Ah, because in your last POV chapter I strongly implied that I am loyal to the Targaryens, and thus we are now beginning a slow, long journey that will take you towards Daenerys.
Tyrion: Okay, so Varys filled this role in the TV. But in the books you’re the one coming with me instead?
Illyrio: Coming with you? Oh, heavans no. I’m just taking you a tiny bit of a way. Once we get to the river Rhoyne, I’ll drop you off with some of my associates, including Griff, and I’ll head back to my lavish life in Pentos.
Tyrion: Hrm. “Griff?” Fair enough, I don’t really like you anyway, fatso. So where exactly is Dany now?
Illyrio: When last I heard, she was tearing it up through Slavers Bay, conquering cities left and right. By the time you get down that way, I’m sure she’ll already be finished in Valyria and will have moved on to the Free Cities. So I’m sending you to Volantis. Yes indeedy, I bet she’ll be in Volantis!
Tyrion: But what if, instead of merely conquering cities and then immediately moving on before being able to set up peace and stability, she instead STAYS in Valyria? Like what if she stays in Meereen to rule it?
Illyrio: Huh? Why on earth would she do that? Sounds dumb.
Tyrion: I mean it’s an inherent theme of these novels that the greatest warriors who can win “the wars” are not necessarily the greatest kings who can win “the peace.” Take, for example, Robert Baratheon. He was indeed a skilled foe on the battlefield who bested Rhaegar and most others who faced him. But he was an incompetent and inattentive king. His namesake, Robb Stark, can be seen as a similar example. Robb won tons of victories on the battlefield, allowing him to be “King in the North.” But his rashness, poor decision skills, and inability to placate and please the families which had bent the knee to him – the Karstarks, the Freys, the Boltons, etc., meant that his skill in battle did not translate to political savvy to run a kingdom.
Illyrio: Why are you telling me this? What does that have to do with Dany?
Tyrion: I’m just saying that if we are to truly believe that Daenerys is the “true” ruler who should take the Iron Throne, and GRRM wants to convince us of that, then she might consider showing that she can rule just as well as she wins cities.
Illyrio: Sounds boring. I don’t care about that stuff. So instead, I’m going to make a bunch of lewd and sexually suggestive comments about how I always wanted to have violent, non-consensual sex with Dany when she was growing up as a small girl.
Tyrion: See? And this is exactly why I’m happy we’ll be parting ways soon.
Illyrio: Okay, fine. If you want to know my thoughts on if Dany is competent to rule… then YES! Obviously I think so. I mean her brother, Viserys, was a total waste. He was never a true Targaryen like Dany is. I will serve her loyalty, just as Varys does.
Tyrion: Hrm.
Tyrion doubts Illyrio’s actual loyalty to Dany. He wonders to himself what exactly Illyrio’s game is. Illyrio is an ally of Varys. Has Varys really been loyal to the Targaryens this entire time? Maybe. But probably not. He’s a slippery snake, that one. Which means Illyrio can’t be trusted either.
Illyrio: You know, me and Varys grew up together. Oh yes, we were young whipper-snapper boys in Pentos, living a youthful life of crime together. Doing stuff like playing mailbox baseball and the like.
Tyrion: Whoa, nobody asked for your life story, dude. So, tell me more about this “Griff” guy who I’ll be meeting up with.
Illyrio: Ah, clever imp. A good question! Dany will need clever people around her to rule Westeros. Like you, Griff is a clever man. A Westerosi sellsword.
Tyrion: I know sellswords. I wouldn’t exactly call any of them “trustworthy.”
Illyrio: This one is. For he longs to be home in Westeros, and Dany can give him this when she sails her forces the Seven Kingdoms. And part of those forces will include the Golden Company. They shall meet up with you in Volantis.
Tyrion: The Golden Company?! I heard that they had a contract with Myr.
Illyrio: Some contracts are written in ink. Others are written in blood. I say no more.
Tyrion: Oh, you don’t have to! Because, dood, I KNOW about the Golden Company. *ahem* It’s a force of mercenaries set up by Bittersteel (AKA Aegor Rivers), one of the many bastard sons of Aegon the Unworthy (AKA Aegon IV Targaryen). Aegon IV was, of course, the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms who upon his deathbed 116 years ago in 184 AC legitimized his bastard sons, including Bittersteel. Bittersteel’s half-brother, Daemon Waters, was the child of Aegon IV and Daena Targaryen. Now, we’re all accustomed to Targaryens marrying their own relatives – but in this case, Daena wasn’t the wife of Aegon IV. She had actually been the sister and wife of Baelor “the Blessed” Targaryen, who wound up being a religious zealot who refused to bed her (e.g. think of him like my cousin, Lancel). Daena’s marriage was annulled and she was locked up in a “Maidenvault” for a decade, but she was sort of a rebellious “Sand Snake-type” of woman and she wound up getting pregnant by a mystery father. Baelor got super crazy after she got pregnant and fasted himself until he died. Technically that made Daena the heir to the throne, but instead they skipped over her rightful claim and made her uncle, Viserys II, the new king. Little did anyone know that Viserys II’s own son, Aegon, was secretly the father of Daena’s bastard child—
Illyrio: —Hey Tyrion, this exposition is going on for a bit. What exactly does this have to do with the Golden Company?
Tyrion: —Shh! I’m getting there. So Aegon IV was instead married to his own sister, Naerys. With Naerys he had his “legitimate” children, Daeron II and Daenerys (the latter being the namesake of the current Dany). But Aegon IV was a terrible, cruel and incompetent ruler. Naerys died in childbirth and he started making accusations that his kids with her were illegitimate because Naerys had been sleeping around, with no evidence to back it up. Now, since the conquest of Westeros by King Aegon I (the Conqueror), the Targaryen kings always held into Aegon’s Valyrian steel sword, Blackfyre, as a sign of rulership and authority. But Aegon IV didn’t bestow Blackfyre to his heir and legitimate son, Daeron, like he should have. Instead he gave it to his bastard with Daena, the aforementioned Daemon Waters. Immediately people started talking about Daemon becoming heir instead of Daeron. Upon Aegon IV’s death and the legitimization of all of his bastards, we get the beginning of the Blackfyre Rebellions, led by who we in Westeros generally refer to as the “Blackfyre Pretenders.” Daemon was the first of these, as he rid himself of the bastard name “Waters” and took the name “Blackfyre,” after the sword of Aegon the Conqueror, which was now his. He tried to take the throne from Daeron II but would ultimately fail, dying in the rebellion along with his two eldest sons, Aegon and Aemon. However, five of Daemon’s other children safely escaped and fled to the Free Cities of Essos, specifically Tyrosh, to live in exile. Who helped them escape? Why it was none other than Daemon’s half-brother, Aegor Rivers, AKA “Bittersteel!”
Illyrio: Oh thank the gods, we finally made it back full circle to your point about Bittersteel. Are we done?
Tyrion: Not quite, you see, Bittersteel, a fellow “bastard” like Daemon, had been one of the biggest supporters of Daemon’s claim and fought at his side. But after the First Blackfyre Rebellion was defeated, Bittersteel was in exile across the Narrow Sea and a needed new cause. A fine warrior, he decided to join the sellsword company "the Second Sons." That's the group that Dany later found Daario with, BTW. But after just a little time there, Bittersteel broke off and formed his own group – the Golden Company. They would quickly become one of the most famous and disciplined sellsword groups in the world, frequently sought after, especially after they totally wrecked Qohor for not honoring a contract. The Golden Company, although it mostly fought for profit, remained loyal to the Blackfyre cause and claims. There would be later Blackfyre Rebellions, led by the descendants of Daemon. Bittersteel and the Golden Company would support those later rebellions to take back the Iron Throne as well.
Illyrio: *yawns*
Tyrion: I mean their claim was not a terrible one. Even though Daemon was viewed as a “bastard,” both of his parents were Targaryens – including a Targaryen King and a Targaryen Queen! Just not a king and queen who were married to each other though. But that should be beside the point because Daemon’s mother, Daena, actually had the better claim to the throne than Daeron II, Aegon IV, or Viserys II ever did. Because she was skipped over despite being the eldest remaining heir to her father Aegon III, after her brother/husband Baelor died. At any rate, Bittersteel would eventually die in exile. But he told the Golden Company that upon his death he wanted them to take his skeleton, dip it in gold, and bring it with them when they retake the Seven Kingdoms. My point being is that even though the Golden Company appear to be sellswords who will fight for the highest bidder – inherently their goal has always been to return to the Seven Kingdoms and help the Blackfyres take the Iron Throne. Hence your line about “some contracts being written in blood,” I assume.
Illyrio: Okay, well that brings us to the present then, huh? So now—
Tyrion: —Only the Blackfyres are now all gone, supposedly. So what blood are you talking about? The last Blackfyre was Maelys, who himself commanded the Golden Company. He joined a band of nine outlaws, sellswords, and pirates in 258 AC who invaded the Seven Kingdoms in an attempt to carve out a kingdom for each of them. This became known as the “War of the Ninepenny Kings,” which conveniently was alluded to in the last book by Septon Meribald, obviously setting it up as an important plot point going forward. And thus here we are – with the Golden Company about to become allies with us. Why? To support Dany? Is that the blood you mean? Are the Targaryens (who the Blackfyres initially fought against) now the ones they want to ally with since Dany is their closest remaining “blood?” Can Dany give the Golden Company what Bittersteel could not… A WAY HOME?
Illyrio: —Yes! Yes! Of course! That’s it. Yep. You figured it out. Black or Red, a dragon is still a dragon. I mention that because the Blackfyres took a black dragon logo, while the Targaryens have a red one.
Tyrion: —OR… now stay with me here, Illyrio… or is there... perhaps… secretly… a survivor? Another Blackfyre!? Oh, we think of Maelys as the “last” when he died 40 years ago in 260 AC. But was he really? We talk about “blood,” and Maelys being the last Blackfyre. But then again society is sexist today, just as it was when they skipped over Daena for Viserys II. Society often doesn’t recognize female descendants. Yet wouldn’t the descendants of any female Blackfyres be just as much “Blackfyre blood” as descendants of the males, despite not carrying on the surname? By patriarchal tradition - no. But by actual fact - of course!
Illyrio: *nervously silent now*
Tyrion: Okay, well that was fun. Let’s get on with the story.
They ride in their wagon through Andalos, which is (FUN FACT!) where the Andals who eventually settled Westeros centuries ago initially came from. Tyrion starts quoting some old scriptures of the Faith of the Seven, which talk about how the seven gods themselves used to walk in Andalos.
Illyrio: By the way, as you’re doing that thinking, I’m also going to casually mention that I once fell in love with a woman named Serra, but she died of the plague. Let that factoid about a woman I love weigh on your mind after you were extensively questioning my true purposes, as well as providing a long diatribe which eventually got you to the point of questioning whether or not the Blackfyres have a secret descendant who is still alive. I’m not saying that this story about Serra has anything to do with that, but…
Tyrion: …but why would GRRM even mention it, if it wasn’t important and/or related?
Illyrio: Bingo.
Tyrion: Well. Sorry about your dead love of your life, dude. That sucks. Got a picture of her?
Illyrio: You bet I do.
He pulls out a locket which has her picture on it. Serra has beautiful, SILVER hair.
Tyrion: Really? Really? Silver? *sigh*
Seeing a beautiful woman makes Tyrion then thinks of Shae. And then Tysha. He closes his eyes for the long journey ahead and his father comes to him in a dream.
Oh, also Tyrion sees a statue of a SPHINX outside as he travels, and specifically thinks that it looks like a dragon's body with a woman's face. So there's that, while we're still talking about sphinxes being important.
Tyrion: Please, provide a little more explanation as to why we are going there.
Illyrio: Ah, because in your last POV chapter I strongly implied that I am loyal to the Targaryens, and thus we are now beginning a slow, long journey that will take you towards Daenerys.
Tyrion: Okay, so Varys filled this role in the TV. But in the books you’re the one coming with me instead?
Illyrio: Coming with you? Oh, heavans no. I’m just taking you a tiny bit of a way. Once we get to the river Rhoyne, I’ll drop you off with some of my associates, including Griff, and I’ll head back to my lavish life in Pentos.
Tyrion: Hrm. “Griff?” Fair enough, I don’t really like you anyway, fatso. So where exactly is Dany now?
Illyrio: When last I heard, she was tearing it up through Slavers Bay, conquering cities left and right. By the time you get down that way, I’m sure she’ll already be finished in Valyria and will have moved on to the Free Cities. So I’m sending you to Volantis. Yes indeedy, I bet she’ll be in Volantis!
Tyrion: But what if, instead of merely conquering cities and then immediately moving on before being able to set up peace and stability, she instead STAYS in Valyria? Like what if she stays in Meereen to rule it?
Illyrio: Huh? Why on earth would she do that? Sounds dumb.
Tyrion: I mean it’s an inherent theme of these novels that the greatest warriors who can win “the wars” are not necessarily the greatest kings who can win “the peace.” Take, for example, Robert Baratheon. He was indeed a skilled foe on the battlefield who bested Rhaegar and most others who faced him. But he was an incompetent and inattentive king. His namesake, Robb Stark, can be seen as a similar example. Robb won tons of victories on the battlefield, allowing him to be “King in the North.” But his rashness, poor decision skills, and inability to placate and please the families which had bent the knee to him – the Karstarks, the Freys, the Boltons, etc., meant that his skill in battle did not translate to political savvy to run a kingdom.
Illyrio: Why are you telling me this? What does that have to do with Dany?
Tyrion: I’m just saying that if we are to truly believe that Daenerys is the “true” ruler who should take the Iron Throne, and GRRM wants to convince us of that, then she might consider showing that she can rule just as well as she wins cities.
Illyrio: Sounds boring. I don’t care about that stuff. So instead, I’m going to make a bunch of lewd and sexually suggestive comments about how I always wanted to have violent, non-consensual sex with Dany when she was growing up as a small girl.
Tyrion: See? And this is exactly why I’m happy we’ll be parting ways soon.
Illyrio: Okay, fine. If you want to know my thoughts on if Dany is competent to rule… then YES! Obviously I think so. I mean her brother, Viserys, was a total waste. He was never a true Targaryen like Dany is. I will serve her loyalty, just as Varys does.
Tyrion: Hrm.
Tyrion doubts Illyrio’s actual loyalty to Dany. He wonders to himself what exactly Illyrio’s game is. Illyrio is an ally of Varys. Has Varys really been loyal to the Targaryens this entire time? Maybe. But probably not. He’s a slippery snake, that one. Which means Illyrio can’t be trusted either.
Illyrio: You know, me and Varys grew up together. Oh yes, we were young whipper-snapper boys in Pentos, living a youthful life of crime together. Doing stuff like playing mailbox baseball and the like.
Tyrion: Whoa, nobody asked for your life story, dude. So, tell me more about this “Griff” guy who I’ll be meeting up with.
Illyrio: Ah, clever imp. A good question! Dany will need clever people around her to rule Westeros. Like you, Griff is a clever man. A Westerosi sellsword.
Tyrion: I know sellswords. I wouldn’t exactly call any of them “trustworthy.”
Illyrio: This one is. For he longs to be home in Westeros, and Dany can give him this when she sails her forces the Seven Kingdoms. And part of those forces will include the Golden Company. They shall meet up with you in Volantis.
Tyrion: The Golden Company?! I heard that they had a contract with Myr.
Illyrio: Some contracts are written in ink. Others are written in blood. I say no more.
Tyrion: Oh, you don’t have to! Because, dood, I KNOW about the Golden Company. *ahem* It’s a force of mercenaries set up by Bittersteel (AKA Aegor Rivers), one of the many bastard sons of Aegon the Unworthy (AKA Aegon IV Targaryen). Aegon IV was, of course, the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms who upon his deathbed 116 years ago in 184 AC legitimized his bastard sons, including Bittersteel. Bittersteel’s half-brother, Daemon Waters, was the child of Aegon IV and Daena Targaryen. Now, we’re all accustomed to Targaryens marrying their own relatives – but in this case, Daena wasn’t the wife of Aegon IV. She had actually been the sister and wife of Baelor “the Blessed” Targaryen, who wound up being a religious zealot who refused to bed her (e.g. think of him like my cousin, Lancel). Daena’s marriage was annulled and she was locked up in a “Maidenvault” for a decade, but she was sort of a rebellious “Sand Snake-type” of woman and she wound up getting pregnant by a mystery father. Baelor got super crazy after she got pregnant and fasted himself until he died. Technically that made Daena the heir to the throne, but instead they skipped over her rightful claim and made her uncle, Viserys II, the new king. Little did anyone know that Viserys II’s own son, Aegon, was secretly the father of Daena’s bastard child—
Illyrio: —Hey Tyrion, this exposition is going on for a bit. What exactly does this have to do with the Golden Company?
Tyrion: —Shh! I’m getting there. So Aegon IV was instead married to his own sister, Naerys. With Naerys he had his “legitimate” children, Daeron II and Daenerys (the latter being the namesake of the current Dany). But Aegon IV was a terrible, cruel and incompetent ruler. Naerys died in childbirth and he started making accusations that his kids with her were illegitimate because Naerys had been sleeping around, with no evidence to back it up. Now, since the conquest of Westeros by King Aegon I (the Conqueror), the Targaryen kings always held into Aegon’s Valyrian steel sword, Blackfyre, as a sign of rulership and authority. But Aegon IV didn’t bestow Blackfyre to his heir and legitimate son, Daeron, like he should have. Instead he gave it to his bastard with Daena, the aforementioned Daemon Waters. Immediately people started talking about Daemon becoming heir instead of Daeron. Upon Aegon IV’s death and the legitimization of all of his bastards, we get the beginning of the Blackfyre Rebellions, led by who we in Westeros generally refer to as the “Blackfyre Pretenders.” Daemon was the first of these, as he rid himself of the bastard name “Waters” and took the name “Blackfyre,” after the sword of Aegon the Conqueror, which was now his. He tried to take the throne from Daeron II but would ultimately fail, dying in the rebellion along with his two eldest sons, Aegon and Aemon. However, five of Daemon’s other children safely escaped and fled to the Free Cities of Essos, specifically Tyrosh, to live in exile. Who helped them escape? Why it was none other than Daemon’s half-brother, Aegor Rivers, AKA “Bittersteel!”
Illyrio: Oh thank the gods, we finally made it back full circle to your point about Bittersteel. Are we done?
Tyrion: Not quite, you see, Bittersteel, a fellow “bastard” like Daemon, had been one of the biggest supporters of Daemon’s claim and fought at his side. But after the First Blackfyre Rebellion was defeated, Bittersteel was in exile across the Narrow Sea and a needed new cause. A fine warrior, he decided to join the sellsword company "the Second Sons." That's the group that Dany later found Daario with, BTW. But after just a little time there, Bittersteel broke off and formed his own group – the Golden Company. They would quickly become one of the most famous and disciplined sellsword groups in the world, frequently sought after, especially after they totally wrecked Qohor for not honoring a contract. The Golden Company, although it mostly fought for profit, remained loyal to the Blackfyre cause and claims. There would be later Blackfyre Rebellions, led by the descendants of Daemon. Bittersteel and the Golden Company would support those later rebellions to take back the Iron Throne as well.
Illyrio: *yawns*
Tyrion: I mean their claim was not a terrible one. Even though Daemon was viewed as a “bastard,” both of his parents were Targaryens – including a Targaryen King and a Targaryen Queen! Just not a king and queen who were married to each other though. But that should be beside the point because Daemon’s mother, Daena, actually had the better claim to the throne than Daeron II, Aegon IV, or Viserys II ever did. Because she was skipped over despite being the eldest remaining heir to her father Aegon III, after her brother/husband Baelor died. At any rate, Bittersteel would eventually die in exile. But he told the Golden Company that upon his death he wanted them to take his skeleton, dip it in gold, and bring it with them when they retake the Seven Kingdoms. My point being is that even though the Golden Company appear to be sellswords who will fight for the highest bidder – inherently their goal has always been to return to the Seven Kingdoms and help the Blackfyres take the Iron Throne. Hence your line about “some contracts being written in blood,” I assume.
Illyrio: Okay, well that brings us to the present then, huh? So now—
Tyrion: —Only the Blackfyres are now all gone, supposedly. So what blood are you talking about? The last Blackfyre was Maelys, who himself commanded the Golden Company. He joined a band of nine outlaws, sellswords, and pirates in 258 AC who invaded the Seven Kingdoms in an attempt to carve out a kingdom for each of them. This became known as the “War of the Ninepenny Kings,” which conveniently was alluded to in the last book by Septon Meribald, obviously setting it up as an important plot point going forward. And thus here we are – with the Golden Company about to become allies with us. Why? To support Dany? Is that the blood you mean? Are the Targaryens (who the Blackfyres initially fought against) now the ones they want to ally with since Dany is their closest remaining “blood?” Can Dany give the Golden Company what Bittersteel could not… A WAY HOME?
Illyrio: —Yes! Yes! Of course! That’s it. Yep. You figured it out. Black or Red, a dragon is still a dragon. I mention that because the Blackfyres took a black dragon logo, while the Targaryens have a red one.
Tyrion: —OR… now stay with me here, Illyrio… or is there... perhaps… secretly… a survivor? Another Blackfyre!? Oh, we think of Maelys as the “last” when he died 40 years ago in 260 AC. But was he really? We talk about “blood,” and Maelys being the last Blackfyre. But then again society is sexist today, just as it was when they skipped over Daena for Viserys II. Society often doesn’t recognize female descendants. Yet wouldn’t the descendants of any female Blackfyres be just as much “Blackfyre blood” as descendants of the males, despite not carrying on the surname? By patriarchal tradition - no. But by actual fact - of course!
Illyrio: *nervously silent now*
Tyrion: Okay, well that was fun. Let’s get on with the story.
They ride in their wagon through Andalos, which is (FUN FACT!) where the Andals who eventually settled Westeros centuries ago initially came from. Tyrion starts quoting some old scriptures of the Faith of the Seven, which talk about how the seven gods themselves used to walk in Andalos.
Illyrio: By the way, as you’re doing that thinking, I’m also going to casually mention that I once fell in love with a woman named Serra, but she died of the plague. Let that factoid about a woman I love weigh on your mind after you were extensively questioning my true purposes, as well as providing a long diatribe which eventually got you to the point of questioning whether or not the Blackfyres have a secret descendant who is still alive. I’m not saying that this story about Serra has anything to do with that, but…
Tyrion: …but why would GRRM even mention it, if it wasn’t important and/or related?
Illyrio: Bingo.
Tyrion: Well. Sorry about your dead love of your life, dude. That sucks. Got a picture of her?
Illyrio: You bet I do.
He pulls out a locket which has her picture on it. Serra has beautiful, SILVER hair.
Tyrion: Really? Really? Silver? *sigh*
Seeing a beautiful woman makes Tyrion then thinks of Shae. And then Tysha. He closes his eyes for the long journey ahead and his father comes to him in a dream.
Tywin: Wherever whores go!Tyrion: Oh, come on, Ghost Dad! Leave me alone and stop trying to distract the readers from the fact that this chapter is exclusively designed to set up some important Golden Company / Mystery Blackfyre heir story.
Oh, also Tyrion sees a statue of a SPHINX outside as he travels, and specifically thinks that it looks like a dragon's body with a woman's face. So there's that, while we're still talking about sphinxes being important.
No comments:
Post a Comment