Tyrion watches Sansa sleep, which is sort of creepy. I mean I know they’re husband and wife… but it was also an arranged marriage with a child bride. And even if this were a strictly normal marriage with two people who loved each other very much… that would still be SORT OF creepy.
Oh, another reason it’s sort of creepy is she has also just learned from him about how his family murdered her brother and mother. I suppose that is sort of awkward. He spared her the worst details. Like the stuff about the Freys sewing Grey Wind’s head onto Robb’s decapitated corpse or how Cat’s naked body was thrown into the river.
Sansa was pretty much shellshocked and unable to do or say anything after learning. But then again, her entire life for the last several years has just been a permanent state of shock and misery.
The only joy Tyrion gets from this marriage is that he got to move to a different part of the castle, far away from Cersei. His room is actually above an area where the dragon skulls are stored, and he uses a secret passage to met Shae and have sex with her in the dark. Inside of the giant jawbones of dead dragons. Ya know, while we’re on the subject of super creepy things.
Shae has also been hired as one of Sansa’s maids now. That lets him see her more. But Tyrion knows that Varys will sell him out in a second if Cersei even gets the slightest inkling about the relationship.
Tyrion: Ugh. This Shae shit is getting out of hand. We’re going to get caught soon. I need to send her away. Maybe to Chataya’s brothel. Or… you know what… nobody knows that she’s a whore. Everyone thinks she’s this servant girl. I bet I could marry her off to somebody. There is that Ser Tallad the Hedge Knight guy. He was pretty impressive in the Battle of the Blackwater. And he’s tall. Maybe I can marry Shae off to him and be done with her. Then her life won’t be in danger!
Okay, that’s it. The chapter is over now.
Tyrion: What? Really? There was only that one piece of dialogue, which was me speaking to myself in an aside. There really isn’t going to be anything else?
Nope. That’s it. This is a short one.
Tyrion: Man. This chapter wasn’t even funny or anything. Where were the jokes and stuff? Lame. I’m going to start drinking.
Oh, another reason it’s sort of creepy is she has also just learned from him about how his family murdered her brother and mother. I suppose that is sort of awkward. He spared her the worst details. Like the stuff about the Freys sewing Grey Wind’s head onto Robb’s decapitated corpse or how Cat’s naked body was thrown into the river.
Sansa was pretty much shellshocked and unable to do or say anything after learning. But then again, her entire life for the last several years has just been a permanent state of shock and misery.
The only joy Tyrion gets from this marriage is that he got to move to a different part of the castle, far away from Cersei. His room is actually above an area where the dragon skulls are stored, and he uses a secret passage to met Shae and have sex with her in the dark. Inside of the giant jawbones of dead dragons. Ya know, while we’re on the subject of super creepy things.
Shae has also been hired as one of Sansa’s maids now. That lets him see her more. But Tyrion knows that Varys will sell him out in a second if Cersei even gets the slightest inkling about the relationship.
Tyrion: Ugh. This Shae shit is getting out of hand. We’re going to get caught soon. I need to send her away. Maybe to Chataya’s brothel. Or… you know what… nobody knows that she’s a whore. Everyone thinks she’s this servant girl. I bet I could marry her off to somebody. There is that Ser Tallad the Hedge Knight guy. He was pretty impressive in the Battle of the Blackwater. And he’s tall. Maybe I can marry Shae off to him and be done with her. Then her life won’t be in danger!
Okay, that’s it. The chapter is over now.
Tyrion: What? Really? There was only that one piece of dialogue, which was me speaking to myself in an aside. There really isn’t going to be anything else?
Nope. That’s it. This is a short one.
Tyrion: Man. This chapter wasn’t even funny or anything. Where were the jokes and stuff? Lame. I’m going to start drinking.
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