Arya sits around with a bunch of other girls sewing, because that's what girls are supposed to do in Westeros. With her there is her sister Sansa, Princess Myrcella, Jeyne Poole, and some girl named Beth that you don't have to remember because she's not important. They're all being watched by Septa Mordane.
Arya: Oh man, my needlework sucks so hard. Look at Sansa's needlework there. So perfect. She's so perfect. And pretty. She's got that pretty red hair from our mom just like Robb, Bran and Rickon. Only Jon and I have dark hair and we're ugly. It's just not fair! Life isn't fair.
Myrcella: Hey Septa! How does my needlework look?
Myrcella shows the Septa a bunch of crooked-ass bullshit that is even worse than Arya's.
Septa Mordane: Oh, it's so beautiful princess! You're so talented. Truly a worthy princess and we're all lucky to have you present here.
Arya: *grumble* Unfair bullshit. What a kiss-ass.
Arya then hears the other girls giggling.
Arya: What the hell you bitches laughing at?
Jeyne Poole: Hehe, we were just talking about how handsome Joffrey is. He's so cute!
Sansa: And noble, and strong, and not at all a whiny little douchebag.
Jeyne Poole: Sansa and Joffrey sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. They're going to get married!
Sansa: *giggle* Shut up!
Arya: Whatever. Jon says Joffrey looks like a girl.
Jeyne Poole: No, Joffrey is handsome! He doesn't have an ugly face like you, Arya. You have an ugly horse face! Your face is sooooooo ugly. I'm so glad I don't look like you at all. With your ugly face. Like a horse. A particularly ugly horse. If I looked like you it would be the worst. I can't imagine people possibly mistaking me for you. Like, you know, confusing us. If somebody was like, "I need someone to stand in for Arya," they would NEVER pick me. Because I look nothing like you.
Sansa: I mean you look a little like her.
Jeyne Poole: WHAT?!
Septa Mordane: What are you girls chattering about?
Sansa: About how Jon thinks Joffrey looks like a girl. But only because he's jealous because he's a bastard.
Arya: Take it back! He's our brother!
Sansa: Half.
Septa Mordane: Okay, be quiet. You're in front of a princess here. This is no time for... uh... oh my Arya. You suck at this needlework and are really, really terrible. Just look how awful this is. You'll never be a proper lady if you can't--
Arya: SCREW YOU, SEPTA! I'm leaving!
She storms out.
Knowing that she'll be quickly caught if she just goes back to her room, she decided to go out to watch the boys fighting in the practice yard. Because fighting is cool. Along the way, her direwolf (which she named "Nymeria" after an awesome famous warrior queen) shows up.
Arya: Come on Nymeria, let's go watch some fighting because that's awesome!
As she arrives, she sees Jon. Jon tussles her hair because these two are besties. Thick as thieves.
Jon: I can't wait to see those Lannister kids gets get messed up!
Arya: You mean "Baratheon?"
Jon: Yeah, sure. Baratheon. Let's go with that.
Down in the yard, master-at-arms Rodrik Cassel watches over some fights. Tommen and Bran are all padded up and fighting each other with wooden swords and it's pathetic.
Arya: Man, they all suck so hard. Why can't you go down there and fight too Jon? You're like the best!
Jon: They won't let a bastard fight a trueborn prince.
Arya: Man, life is so unfair for us. I hate everyone down there. I hope they all die and/or get crippled.
Jon: Wow, dark Arya. Dark.
Bran knocks Tommen down and wins his fight.
Bran: YESSSS! I am the best! I am truly going to be a great knight one day! What with my ability to use my spine to its fullest potential to leverage swings of the sword!
Rodrik: Okay, up next... Joffrey vs. Robb. Round One. FIGHT!!!!
Jon: Ugh. Joffrey. Such a little shit.
Joffrey: What is this, lowly man? I am the prince and heir to the throne! How dare you say I have to fight this inferior Stark boy with a practice sword! Give me a REAL sword!
Rodrik: Umm... no.
Robb: Oh, I'll accept that challenge. I will mess you up, you little blonde douche.
Rodrik: I said no.
The Hound: Oh please. Let these boys fight with real swords. I was just a little kid when I started brutally murdering people.
Joffrey: *fake yawn* Oh my, well. I guess if I can't use a real sword you should all assume I would have just won the fight anyway. Because I'm better. I don't need to prove it. As Prince I declare myself the victor. Now if you'll excuse me, Tommen and I will leave. Just remember I won despite the fact that I didn't fight. In no way am I a coward who avoided conflict. Because I totally wanted to fight for real.
They leave.
Jon: Wow, total bitch move. Anyway Arya, I think you should get back. You're probably already in trouble for skipping your needlework.
Arya: *grumbles* Okay.
Arya begins to head back and Nymeria follows. But as she's trying to tip toe back all stealthily, she runs into both Septa Mordane and her mom.
Cat: ARYA!!!!
Arya: DAMNIT!
Arya: Oh man, my needlework sucks so hard. Look at Sansa's needlework there. So perfect. She's so perfect. And pretty. She's got that pretty red hair from our mom just like Robb, Bran and Rickon. Only Jon and I have dark hair and we're ugly. It's just not fair! Life isn't fair.
Myrcella: Hey Septa! How does my needlework look?
Myrcella shows the Septa a bunch of crooked-ass bullshit that is even worse than Arya's.
Septa Mordane: Oh, it's so beautiful princess! You're so talented. Truly a worthy princess and we're all lucky to have you present here.
Arya: *grumble* Unfair bullshit. What a kiss-ass.
Arya then hears the other girls giggling.
Arya: What the hell you bitches laughing at?
Jeyne Poole: Hehe, we were just talking about how handsome Joffrey is. He's so cute!
Sansa: And noble, and strong, and not at all a whiny little douchebag.
Jeyne Poole: Sansa and Joffrey sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. They're going to get married!
Sansa: *giggle* Shut up!
Arya: Whatever. Jon says Joffrey looks like a girl.
Jeyne Poole: No, Joffrey is handsome! He doesn't have an ugly face like you, Arya. You have an ugly horse face! Your face is sooooooo ugly. I'm so glad I don't look like you at all. With your ugly face. Like a horse. A particularly ugly horse. If I looked like you it would be the worst. I can't imagine people possibly mistaking me for you. Like, you know, confusing us. If somebody was like, "I need someone to stand in for Arya," they would NEVER pick me. Because I look nothing like you.
Sansa: I mean you look a little like her.
Jeyne Poole: WHAT?!
Septa Mordane: What are you girls chattering about?
Sansa: About how Jon thinks Joffrey looks like a girl. But only because he's jealous because he's a bastard.
Arya: Take it back! He's our brother!
Sansa: Half.
Septa Mordane: Okay, be quiet. You're in front of a princess here. This is no time for... uh... oh my Arya. You suck at this needlework and are really, really terrible. Just look how awful this is. You'll never be a proper lady if you can't--
Arya: SCREW YOU, SEPTA! I'm leaving!
She storms out.
Knowing that she'll be quickly caught if she just goes back to her room, she decided to go out to watch the boys fighting in the practice yard. Because fighting is cool. Along the way, her direwolf (which she named "Nymeria" after an awesome famous warrior queen) shows up.
Arya: Come on Nymeria, let's go watch some fighting because that's awesome!
As she arrives, she sees Jon. Jon tussles her hair because these two are besties. Thick as thieves.
Jon: I can't wait to see those Lannister kids gets get messed up!
Arya: You mean "Baratheon?"
Jon: Yeah, sure. Baratheon. Let's go with that.
Down in the yard, master-at-arms Rodrik Cassel watches over some fights. Tommen and Bran are all padded up and fighting each other with wooden swords and it's pathetic.
Arya: Man, they all suck so hard. Why can't you go down there and fight too Jon? You're like the best!
Jon: They won't let a bastard fight a trueborn prince.
Arya: Man, life is so unfair for us. I hate everyone down there. I hope they all die and/or get crippled.
Jon: Wow, dark Arya. Dark.
Bran knocks Tommen down and wins his fight.
Bran: YESSSS! I am the best! I am truly going to be a great knight one day! What with my ability to use my spine to its fullest potential to leverage swings of the sword!
Rodrik: Okay, up next... Joffrey vs. Robb. Round One. FIGHT!!!!
Jon: Ugh. Joffrey. Such a little shit.
Joffrey: What is this, lowly man? I am the prince and heir to the throne! How dare you say I have to fight this inferior Stark boy with a practice sword! Give me a REAL sword!
Rodrik: Umm... no.
Robb: Oh, I'll accept that challenge. I will mess you up, you little blonde douche.
Rodrik: I said no.
The Hound: Oh please. Let these boys fight with real swords. I was just a little kid when I started brutally murdering people.
Joffrey: *fake yawn* Oh my, well. I guess if I can't use a real sword you should all assume I would have just won the fight anyway. Because I'm better. I don't need to prove it. As Prince I declare myself the victor. Now if you'll excuse me, Tommen and I will leave. Just remember I won despite the fact that I didn't fight. In no way am I a coward who avoided conflict. Because I totally wanted to fight for real.
They leave.
Jon: Wow, total bitch move. Anyway Arya, I think you should get back. You're probably already in trouble for skipping your needlework.
Arya: *grumbles* Okay.
Arya begins to head back and Nymeria follows. But as she's trying to tip toe back all stealthily, she runs into both Septa Mordane and her mom.
Cat: ARYA!!!!
Arya: DAMNIT!
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