Tyrion is aboard the trading cog Selaesori Qhoran, which has now departed Volantis on its way to Qarth. Supposedly.
He watches Moqorro lead an evening prayer for the followers of the Lord of Light.
Tyrion: Wait, who is Moqorro? Is this yet another new character?
Yes, it is a red priest of R’hollor who works for High Priest Benerro. Benerro has sent him along in order to give guidance to Queen Daenerys "I have a disability which makes me unable to hear bells" Targaryen.
Tyrion: This guy’s skin is black as pitch.
Sharkleberry Fin: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! You can’t say stuff like that. Racist. It’s not FIN-TASTIC at all!
Tyrion: Oh god. Are you still around?
Moqorro: You talking about me?
Tryion: Uhh… no. Of course… not. I was just saying how I liked your tattoos.
Moqorro: *squints eyes*
Tyrion: So, see anything interesting in those flames of yours?
Moqorro: I see dragons. Both true and false. Bright and dark. And I also see you in the flames.
Tyrion: Yikes. Although you’re probably just trying to flatter me.
Moqorro: I'm flattering you by saying I'm seeing you burn to death?
Tyrion: Me... or Varys?
Moqorro: Huh?
Tyrion: Huh? Anyway, how long before we arrive in Meereen?
Moqorro: Do I look like a red priest or the navigator of this ship? How the hell would I know?
Tyrion: Geez, sorry for asking.
Moqorro: You must be eager to see the world’s savior.
Tyrion: Jesus?
Moqorro: No. Daenerys.
Tyrion: Oh right. Yeah. Maybe she's the world's savior. I bet the Internet will be PISSED if she's not though.
Now is the time that Tyrion has a conversation where he learns the meaning of the name of the ship. But it’s unnecessary to go through with all that nonsense again, because I’ve already explained like twice that it means “Perfumed Seneschal.”
Tyrion: Good, I’m glad that’s done with. I’m going to go leave and hang out with Jorah again.
He heads back to his cabin, where Jorah is.
Jorah: Dude, I hate you. Go hang out with your pink shark friend.
Tyrion: Ugh. Really?
Jorah: It’s that or we write Penny and her stupid pig and dog back into the story.
Tyrion: OH PLEASE NO. THOSE CHARACTERS ARE THE WORST. SO STUPID! I’ll go hang out with Sharkleberry Fin! I swear!
And so Tyion does that.
Sharkleberry Fin: FIN-TASTIC!
Tyrion: *groans*
For the next several days, Tyrion is super bored at sea. The only company he has is Sharkleberry Fin, which is pretty bad but also better than the horrible Penny plot which I’m leaving out.
Tyrion: Wow, removing this Penny stuff is making the chapter a lot faster-moving.
Sharkleberry Fin: FIN-TASTIC! It would go even faster if you stop mentioning her over and over again. We get the point.
Tyrion: Okay, okay.
The ship is rocked by a number of storms, which makes most people on the ship pretty sick. But they don’t phase Tyrion that much. In fact, he feels strangely exhilarated by them.
Sharkleberry Fin: You know Tyrion, now that the Kool-Aid man doesn’t hang out with me anymore, I sort of need a partner to ride on my back and tell all my puns to.
Tyrion: Oh no, I’m not playing any part of that. It’s bad enough growing up as a dwarf and have my entire life spent with people assuming I’m a jester there to entertain them and do flips and stuff for them.
Sharkleberry Fin: And yet previous chapters established that you actually willingly do all that flip stuff to entertain people.
Tyrion: Erm, I suppose. Shut up. I don’t want to do a two-man show with you and listen to all your puns. Besides, you only have two of them. You replace words that sound sort of like “fin” with “fin,” and you have that “tastes so hip, you’ll wanna flip” thing.
Sharkleberry Fin: No way, dude. I’m working on new material. It’s gonna be a real SPLASH.
Tyrion: *groans* Okay, like hat?
Sharkleberry Fin: So check this one out! Did you hear about the shark who went to court? They found him GILL-ty!
Tyrion: I think I might throw myself overboard now.
Sharkleberry Fin: Oh come on now, that joke was… JAWSOME!
Tyrion begins to lift himself over the side of the boat so he can drown when he sees Moqorro.
Tyrion: Oh thank the seven gods, someone else to talk to!
He runs over to Moqorro.
Moqorro: Why would you thank the seven gods that you get to talk with me? I don’t even worship those gods.
Tyrion: Whatever. So let’s talk about anything. Like… uhh… where the hell are we?
Moqorro: Very close to the coast of Valyria. They say that anyone who lays eyes on its shores are doomed.
Tyrion: Yeah, my uncle Gerion set out for Valyria years ago and hasn’t been seen since. You’d think the captain would be going a different route.
Moqorro: The captain isn’t a fan of the route we’re going either. But this is the shortest way to Dany and I commanded him to come this way. Others are seeking her as well. I have seen them in my flames and we must beat them to her.
Tyrion: Oh really. Like who?
Tyrion wonders if Young Griff / Faegon is still coming this way, or if he has heeded his advice to go straight for Dorne.
Moqorro: I see only there shadows, so I cannot be sure. But one is a monster with one black eye and ten long arms… sailing on a sea of blood!
Tyrion: Sounds pretty menacing.
Moqorro: Thanks, that’s what I was going for.
Tyrion: But I’m pretty sure you’re just talking about Victarion Greyjoy.
Moqorro: I am. Anyway, we’re probably just a chapter away from most of us drowning now.
Tyrion: Huh?
He watches Moqorro lead an evening prayer for the followers of the Lord of Light.
Tyrion: Wait, who is Moqorro? Is this yet another new character?
Yes, it is a red priest of R’hollor who works for High Priest Benerro. Benerro has sent him along in order to give guidance to Queen Daenerys "I have a disability which makes me unable to hear bells" Targaryen.
Tyrion: This guy’s skin is black as pitch.
Sharkleberry Fin: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! You can’t say stuff like that. Racist. It’s not FIN-TASTIC at all!
Tyrion: Oh god. Are you still around?
Moqorro: You talking about me?
Tryion: Uhh… no. Of course… not. I was just saying how I liked your tattoos.
Moqorro: *squints eyes*
Tyrion: So, see anything interesting in those flames of yours?
Moqorro: I see dragons. Both true and false. Bright and dark. And I also see you in the flames.
Tyrion: Yikes. Although you’re probably just trying to flatter me.
Moqorro: I'm flattering you by saying I'm seeing you burn to death?
Tyrion: Me... or Varys?
Moqorro: Huh?
Tyrion: Huh? Anyway, how long before we arrive in Meereen?
Moqorro: Do I look like a red priest or the navigator of this ship? How the hell would I know?
Tyrion: Geez, sorry for asking.
Moqorro: You must be eager to see the world’s savior.
Tyrion: Jesus?
Moqorro: No. Daenerys.
Tyrion: Oh right. Yeah. Maybe she's the world's savior. I bet the Internet will be PISSED if she's not though.
Now is the time that Tyrion has a conversation where he learns the meaning of the name of the ship. But it’s unnecessary to go through with all that nonsense again, because I’ve already explained like twice that it means “Perfumed Seneschal.”
Tyrion: Good, I’m glad that’s done with. I’m going to go leave and hang out with Jorah again.
He heads back to his cabin, where Jorah is.
Jorah: Dude, I hate you. Go hang out with your pink shark friend.
Tyrion: Ugh. Really?
Jorah: It’s that or we write Penny and her stupid pig and dog back into the story.
Tyrion: OH PLEASE NO. THOSE CHARACTERS ARE THE WORST. SO STUPID! I’ll go hang out with Sharkleberry Fin! I swear!
And so Tyion does that.
Sharkleberry Fin: FIN-TASTIC!
Tyrion: *groans*
For the next several days, Tyrion is super bored at sea. The only company he has is Sharkleberry Fin, which is pretty bad but also better than the horrible Penny plot which I’m leaving out.
Tyrion: Wow, removing this Penny stuff is making the chapter a lot faster-moving.
Sharkleberry Fin: FIN-TASTIC! It would go even faster if you stop mentioning her over and over again. We get the point.
Tyrion: Okay, okay.
The ship is rocked by a number of storms, which makes most people on the ship pretty sick. But they don’t phase Tyrion that much. In fact, he feels strangely exhilarated by them.
Sharkleberry Fin: You know Tyrion, now that the Kool-Aid man doesn’t hang out with me anymore, I sort of need a partner to ride on my back and tell all my puns to.
Tyrion: Oh no, I’m not playing any part of that. It’s bad enough growing up as a dwarf and have my entire life spent with people assuming I’m a jester there to entertain them and do flips and stuff for them.
Sharkleberry Fin: And yet previous chapters established that you actually willingly do all that flip stuff to entertain people.
Tyrion: Erm, I suppose. Shut up. I don’t want to do a two-man show with you and listen to all your puns. Besides, you only have two of them. You replace words that sound sort of like “fin” with “fin,” and you have that “tastes so hip, you’ll wanna flip” thing.
Sharkleberry Fin: No way, dude. I’m working on new material. It’s gonna be a real SPLASH.
Tyrion: *groans* Okay, like hat?
Sharkleberry Fin: So check this one out! Did you hear about the shark who went to court? They found him GILL-ty!
Tyrion: I think I might throw myself overboard now.
Sharkleberry Fin: Oh come on now, that joke was… JAWSOME!
Tyrion begins to lift himself over the side of the boat so he can drown when he sees Moqorro.
Tyrion: Oh thank the seven gods, someone else to talk to!
He runs over to Moqorro.
Moqorro: Why would you thank the seven gods that you get to talk with me? I don’t even worship those gods.
Tyrion: Whatever. So let’s talk about anything. Like… uhh… where the hell are we?
Moqorro: Very close to the coast of Valyria. They say that anyone who lays eyes on its shores are doomed.
Tyrion: Yeah, my uncle Gerion set out for Valyria years ago and hasn’t been seen since. You’d think the captain would be going a different route.
Moqorro: The captain isn’t a fan of the route we’re going either. But this is the shortest way to Dany and I commanded him to come this way. Others are seeking her as well. I have seen them in my flames and we must beat them to her.
Tyrion: Oh really. Like who?
Tyrion wonders if Young Griff / Faegon is still coming this way, or if he has heeded his advice to go straight for Dorne.
Moqorro: I see only there shadows, so I cannot be sure. But one is a monster with one black eye and ten long arms… sailing on a sea of blood!
Tyrion: Sounds pretty menacing.
Moqorro: Thanks, that’s what I was going for.
Tyrion: But I’m pretty sure you’re just talking about Victarion Greyjoy.
Moqorro: I am. Anyway, we’re probably just a chapter away from most of us drowning now.
Tyrion: Huh?
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